Page 96 of Strange Lad

He screams.

God, he screams.

His fists bang on the floor. Eli tries to comfort him. Jorge slots our fingers together as he trembles with rage, eyes vacantly glaring forward. For long minutes, we all sit with the truth I’ve kept inside me for so long.

I feel ugly, disgusting, beyond used. But I also feel relief. I feel seen.

And when I let out a scream of my own, a cloud of black explodes from my lips.

Jorge

Euphoria

I’ll kill him.

I’ll fuckingkillhim.

I had an inkling it was someone I knew. I’d never voiced those thoughts, hoping I was wrong, but I knew. That kind of ominous sensation is hard to ignore, and I tried to do just that in hopes my avoidance would allow Oli more time to trust me. I see now how stupid I was. I don’t know how he can trust meat all.

Not that I was ever particularly close with Morgan back then, but I’d hung out with him. Hell, I was at the party Phoenix referenced. While I was getting shitfaced, probably hooking up with some girl, Oli was being hurt—raped.A houseful of drunk teenagers, blaring music, and drugs acted as a tomb he sealed himself in. And he’d gonebackto it.

I can’t even begin to count how many timesIasked him if he wanted to go with us to Michael’s house because I wanted him to feel included.

Oli’s scream will terrorize my mind forever. An exorcism of pain. A look inside his shielded, fragile heart. The scream he’s been holding in for too long. My empathy is turned all the wayup. I feel Phoenix’s rage and Eli’s understanding, but most of all, I feel Oli’s pain as if it were my own.

“I want you to touch my waist.”

Bile rushes up my throat.

“I didn’t think you’d believe me,” Oli whispers into the silence sometime later. “I didn’t thinkanyonewould believe me.”

“I believe you,” I tell him.

“I’m going to fucking rip his dick off,” Phoenix growls, finally pushing himself off the floor.

Eli looks Oli dead in the eyes. “What do you want to do? You can still report this.”

Oli shakes his head furiously. “No. I—no.”

We all watch him withdraw into himself. Squeezing his hand too tight, I ease up on it and swivel to stand before him. “Listen to me,” I say firmly, hesitantly reaching up to brush my fingers over his cheek.

His green eyes meet mine. “If you want vengeance, I will ruin his life for you. If you want to tell your family, I will hold your hand and be beside you. If you want to cry, I will hold you for however long it takes. But I promise you this, Oli, I will neverevernot believe you.”

Phoenix shuffles forward. “I should’ve listened to you, Oli. I should’ve seen the signs, but I didn’t. That’s onme.”

Oli takes a breath, easing me out of his way so he can face his brother head-on. “It’s not on you, Phoenix.”

“I can accept it.”

“No,” Oli growls, shaking. I don’t know what he’s doing. I don’t know what he’s thinking. “This…grudge. This…hatred. It’s—”

Phoenix cuts him off. “I broke our promise. It’s taken me up until this fucking moment to realize it, but I did.No matter what.”

“I broke our promise too,” Oli crumbles over his words. “The one I pretend I didn’t make. The one I don’t even acknowledge because I can’t blame you anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Brothers forever.That was what I said.”

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