Page 98 of Strange Lad

“Because youknowme. You know who I am. I’m not a liar.” My chin wobbles. “I’m not.”

“I just don’t know anymore.” He puts his vape away and rubs his forehead. “I’ll uh…see you at practice or whatever.”

“That’s it? You’re just going to wash your hands of me?” I throw mine up in the air. “I didn’t tell you I was dating your brother; it’s not like I killed someone and hid the body in your backyard!”

“I don’t give a shit that you two are screwing. That’s irrelevant.”

The urge to correct him that wearen’tscrewing is strong, but I bite my tongue.

“You looked me in my eyes and pretended not to know anything, but you were seeing him the whole time. Laughing with him. Learning his pain and his past. You’veheld mewhile I cried over losing my brother. All the while, you kept him to yourself. I’m not washing my hands, Jorge. I’m fucking heartbroken. And I deserve time to process that my best friend is a goddamn liar.”

He shoulder-checks me and goes back into my house.

Phoenix and Eli took their food, once delivered, and left. Oli and Phoenix exchanged words and promised to talk soon, so that’s good. At least some hope can be felt for them. I, on the other hand, feel like a piece of me died. Like, I need a doctor to surgically remove the decaying chunk.

Sniffling into my slice of pizza, I nibble on it. Oli sits beside me, with no cushion barrier, and stares at the TV neither of us is watching.

Today fucking sucks, and I can’t help but shoulder the blame for the whole thing.

Oli professed that he loves me, and I don’t feel giddy.

I feel horrible.

Like a selfish fuck.

Never in my life have I single-handedly destroyed so much in so little time. I don’t know what to do about any of it either. Being a good person bites you in the ass sometimes, and I’m living proof of it. Everything I do comes from a place of kindness. I hate it when those I love hurt. And the real cherry on this shit sundae is the fact that Iknowwho Oli’s rapist is, yet I can’t do a damn thing to enact my wrath.

I know where he works, know where he lives.

Michael is going to lose his shit when he finds out that his twin is a sick fuck. I swallow the bite in my mouth and shove my plate away from me. Bringing my knees to my chest, I rest my chin on the tops of them and feel like crying. No more tears are left in my ducts, so I just shut my eyes. Maybe I could sleep for three months, and when I wake up, everything will be better.

“He’ll come around,” Oli tells me softly. “I guess…he’s changed enough to understand.”

“I wouldn’t blame him if he never forgives me,” I grumble sadly.

“Jorge.”

I squint an eye open. “Yeah?”

“Come here.”

I uncurl myself and scoot into his awaiting arm. Once I’m sealed to his side, cheek flat against his big chest, he holds me tight. It feels wrong to seek comfort from him, knowing everything I know now. But my weak, miserable heartneedsthis—needs him. I smell his shirt, savoring that mystical aroma. He strokes up and down my arm, mouth pressed to the top of my head.

“Do you still want to date me?” Oli asks timidly.

“Of course.”

“Even…even after everything?”

I lift my head to look at him. “Why wouldn’t I?”

He swallows, brushing his thumb over my chin. “I’m not an easy person to…be with.”

“Nothing has ever felt as easy as this has with you, babe. I mean it.”

“What if that happens again? What if I get triggered and—”

I press my finger to his lips. “If you tell me what to do during those times, I can be better prepared. I got scaredforyou, Oli.”

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