Page 29 of Reluctant Chemistry

Her mother held her arms wide, and CeCe stepped into the hug. “I won’t.”

14

Rock Notes for Anna

After finishing work around two on Thursday, CeCe drove out to Sandwater Bay and sat in the van, staring out at the rain-clouded sky. She picked up the flat rock she’d found at the river one day. Smooth and gray with a white seam running through the middle, it looked like the shape of a heart if you used your imagination.

They’d done this when they were younger—she and Anna—written notes on small, flat stones and passed them to each other during class. They’d started off as a way of communicating about cute boys at school but had soon morphed into something more meaningful.

But when Anna met Dillon, she’d stopped sending notes. Eventually, their communication had dwindled to a few generic texts and small talk over the occasional after-schoolmilkshake. Even then, as soon as Dillon pulled up outside, Anna would race out to meet him.

CeCe grabbed a fine tip Sharpie from her bag, letting the words flow into her head as she forced back those pesky tears. Holding the rock steady in her left hand, she wrote with her right, and when finished, read it under her breath.

A,

Some days, when forced to

make a decision I don’t want to,

I miss your voice, your insight, your smile in my eyes.

Where are you now? Floating above the cloud,

watching me struggle?

Or are you sitting on a rainbow,

wishing we were still together too?

Cxoxo

The ocean was flat and surprisingly warm when CeCe waded into the surf, the rock note for Anna clasped in her hand. They’d spent a lot of time at this beach. It was where her brother had taught them both to surf and where Anna had fallen in love with Mitch when she was only thirteen. Not that he’d ever noticed.

CeCe swam toward the horizon until her feet could no longer touch the bottom. Despite the overcast day, surfers bobbed on their boards farther down the beach, waiting their turn in the lineup, and several people strolled along the shoreline—some with dogs fetching sticks, others alone.

Goggles in place, she slipped under the water to bury the rock in the sand, then surfaced and swam back to shore.

As CeCe walked up the beach, a bright ray of sunlight peeked through the clouds, bringing with it a spark of warmth. She lay face down on her towel to dry off, the fingers of her right hand tracing a pattern in the sand—L&C encased in an arrowed heart—then quickly scattering it into oblivion as she wondered why Luka hadn’t called into the library to see her.

Sensing someone watching her, she looked up to see Travis and a couple of his friends sitting on top of a nearby dune. He stood and brushed the sand from his shorts before walking her way. When he reached her, he sat without invitation, his knees bent and sight fixed on the horizon.

He fiddled with his sunglasses. “How have you been?”

CeCe sat up and faced the same way, a sudden cool breeze making her shudder.Restless…troubled.“Good.”

“Some of us guys are heading up to Koru Bay tomorrow afternoon. We thought we’d stay the night. You should come. I was going to text you, but then I saw your Kombi.”

She gathered the words that had floated around in her head since he’d dumped her. Words she’d shuffled and reshuffled many times but never had the guts to say. She inhaled and let them drift out: “You hurt me, Travis. Maybe I hurt you too, but when I needed you, you accused me of being morbid and boring. So I’m sorry, but boring girls don’t go away for the night with a group of guys. They stay home and work in the library and keep their hearts locked tight. And you might think boring girls have to settle for second best but screw you. This boring girl knows that second best is not good enough.”

CeCe stood and grabbed her towel. She didn’t want to cry in front of him, but as she strode toward the Kombi, the sand hard and cool beneath her feet, the tears wouldn’t be denied.

Travis chased after her. “CeCe? Wait!”

By the time he reached her, she’d already started the van. He leaned on the open window. “I’m sorry. We’re good together, babe. Please, I want a second chance.”

She depressed the clutch and shifted the van into reverse. “I already gave you a second chance. You just never realized.”

15

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