Page 50 of Reluctant Chemistry

The sound of a car speeding through the nearby intersection startled her, and CeCe glanced toward the road. When she turned back to him, his dulled expression swallowed her words. “Never mind.” She swiped away a tear with the back of her hand and cleared her throat. “I didn’t want to cry, but I hate this.” Sobs rose to the occasion as she struggled to speak. “I hate that we have no choice. No future. That you didn’t fight for me.”

He rubbed his nape. Huffed a sigh. “Please don’t do this.”

“I lost my friend last year. Did I tell you that? Anna. She died in her sleep. We’d had an argument about her boyfriend only days before. She never spoke to me again.”

His expression softened. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s such a personal thing, grief,” CeCe said. “You want to hide it, but also, it’s hard to understand how other people can go about their days as if they’ve already forgotten the person you’re grieving for. And when you don’t even get to say goodbye, it’s all the more devastating.

“The funny thing is, if Anna were still alive, I wouldn’t be standing here right now. I wasn’t one for flings or no-strings sex. But a new purpose often follows grief. I wanted to seize the day—be a whole lot reckless and a little bit happy. Now I feel like I have to step back into the unknown.”

Luka held her gaze but remained silent.

“People call me privileged, say that I’m a nice girl with a bit of a wild streak. Every Sunday, growing up, we’d sit on the veranda and eat lunch as a family. I have an older brother and two sisters. I’m the baby, the brat. My parents are happy together and do okay for themselves. I’ve always felt loved and wanted, we all have…so that’s privilege right there.”

CeCe knew she was raving but couldn’t stop. She wanted to tell him about her life, to fill in the details before it was too late.

“But I see myself as a train wreck of a girl who just wants to get this year over and done with so she can move on. Last year, life gave me lemons, so I tried to make damn lemonade. But it was sour and left a bitter taste in my mouth.”

She burst into tears. “Now you’re leaving,” she sobbed, “going back to Clifton Falls where you’ll forget all about me, pretend we never met.”

Luka moved into her space and engulfed her in his arms, the scent of him filling her senses, making her want—not physically but emotionally. “Hey, come on. Don’t cry. It’s going to be okay.”

She looked down, pressing her lips together as she choked back a sob. “Is it?”

He dipped to catch CeCe’s gaze as he wiped away her tears with the pad of his thumb. “Just be true to who you are, and you’ll be fine. You’ve got this.”

He let go. Stepped back.

You’ve got this.Did Luka honestly believe that those three words would spur her on to bigger and better things? All she had to do was take a deep breath, puff out her chest, and she’d be fine?

As if!

“Is that really what you think, Luka? That I’ve got this? Because right now, I feel like I don’t have a clue.”

“Come inside for a moment. I’ll get you a drink of water.” When CeCe hesitated, he offered his hand. “Come on.”

Inside, apart from the lack of clothes on the floor, dishes in the sink, and novels on the nightstand, the place looked the same. She’d expected it to be stripped bare but then realized it would have been furnished when he moved in. Luka filled a glass of water from the tap and offered it to her. She took a sip, then another.

“Is that better?”

Of course it wasn’t, but with her tears contained, she nodded anyway. What else could she do? There were no choices offered—no solutions—and as she watched him close a window and pull down the blind, CeCe realized the reunion she’d planned in her head would never become a reality. They’d had a fling, one that was now over.

She placed the glass in the sink and turned to face him. “Take care, Chopper Guy, and drive safe.” CeCeinched backward. One step, two, then turned and walked away, sensing his stare—the final chemical reaction between them.

Out on the street, she opened the car door and sat in the driver’s seat, warm from the sun. And as CeCe looked sideways down the driveway to the studio, Luka stood by the swing under the oak tree, his hands in his pockets, watching her.

CeCe started the engine and drovetwo blocks down the road to where a greenbelt separated the center of town from the suburbs. She pulled over, leaned back against the headrest and closed her eyes, letting the tears flow until they turned into an ugly sob where she could hardly breathe.

And a little later, as she made a left onto the coastal highway, she watched the world blur into insignificance.

What would Luka be in her future? A speck in the rearview mirror or an obstacle caught in her headlights?

* * *

Luka packed his bags into the back of his SUV, thoughts of CeCe refusing to shut up. She’d looked so delicate and sad standing before him, a goodbye falling from her lips.He’d never seen her cry like that before—those uncontrollable sobs—and it saddenedhim that today was the only time she’d spoken from the heart.

And as CeCe walked onto the street and out of his life, he’d watched her go, hands in pockets and his heart slipping off his sleeve before landing in the muddy puddle at his feet.

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