Page 7 of Reluctant Chemistry

“That’s the first time you’ve used the wordscuteandguyin the same conversation since Anna died. You really must be over Travis.”

CeCe shrugged. Months ago, the universe had kicked her into a cold, dark place, and her life had ceased to be an endless merry-go-round of cool beer, bonfires, and make-out sessions in the back seat. There seemed little she could do about it at the time, but that didn’t mean she had to stay trapped there forever. “I figure I have two options. Live my best life for both of us or stay home and dwell on the whys.”

“Living your best life sounds like a plan.” Molly picked up her milkshake, twirled the straw in the glass, and took a sip. “What did Travis actually say to you at the party?”

“What, besides telling me I’m morbid and boring? Oh, and I’m obsessive too, it seems. Then he suggested we have sex in the upstairs bathroom.”

“You’re kidding me. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, the guy’s a total jerk.”

“Yep. I beginning to see that.”

“Actually, jerk’s too good for him. Travis is more of a narcissist, and believe me, they’re trouble.”

Molly, whose double-D cup size had attracted men’s unwanted attention since the age of fourteen, knew how to read the opposite sex in a way CeCe never would. Of course, that didn’t mean her love life was perfect. In fact, right now, she was sailing through murky waters with a guy called Jessie, a drummer from a band.

CeCe had no interest in discussing Travis anymore. Her stomach usually clenched at the mere mention of his name, but with her thoughts clearer over the past few weeks, she was finally prying away from his hold. She bit into her burger and groaned. “This is so good.”

Molly did the same but pulled a face. “Yeah? I’m not convinced on this whole bean thing.”

“Why not? It tastes just like beef.”

“Whatever. Anyway, this rabbit-hole guy, have you Googled him yet?”

The jukebox flipped over to ‘Tennessee Whiskey.’ It had been one of Anna’s favorite songs, and CeCe swayed to its slow-tempo beat. “No. Do you think I should?”

“Course. I Google every man I meet. Just in case he has a murky past.”

“Good point.”

* * *

The drive from town to the orchard took fifteen minutes, give or take. Before Anna died, CeCe would sing all the way, but since July, not so much. The road now seemed longer and more solitary.

She slotted one of her sister’s CDs into the player. Ally had been writing music and singing her original songs since she was a child. CeCe wished she could sing like her. She loved the rasp of Ally’s voice, and every time she missed her sister, she’d play her CD on repeat.

Will you dance with me? Hold me like I’m precious? Be my only man?

Will you hear me, dare me, catch me when I fall head over heels…?

When CeCe walked through the kitchen door, she found her mum sitting at the island,MacBook open and one hand hovering over her mouse. CeCe hugged her around the shoulders. “I’m home safe.”

“So I see. How’s Molly?”

Mouth dry, CeCe opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of orange juice. “Okay. Crushing on some guy from a band.”

Andrea narrowed her eyes at her daughter and removed her reading glasses. “I saw Hannah at the supermarket this afternoon. She said you left another message on Anna’s phone.”

CeCe nodded. “Yeah. I just wanted to hear her voice, and some days, I want her to hear mine.”

“I know, but they’re struggling with their loss, and it’s a painful reminder.”

“I never thought they’d still be checking her phone.”

“They probably just want to hear her voice too.”

This she knew. Anna’s mother had explained it to CeCe after the first time she’d called and left a message. “Iwish I could turn back the clock.”

Her mother leaned forward in her chair and rested her hands under her chin. “What would you do differently?”

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