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A V R I L
My notion of timeslipped away as we stood there in silence, unmoving, Koen’s hot breath mixing with mine. I don’t know why I couldn’t say anything, or simply walk away, but he didn’t either. Maybe we both just wanted to live in a world where we didn’t have to face what had happened between us a little longer.
Or was it just me? Koen had acted so boldly, so assertively, it almost made me think he had been wanting to kiss me again since that night - maybe even before then.
No, I told myself. That couldn’t be. If he truly wanted me, he wouldn’t have rejected me five years ago. He was just a single male, whose wolf still lusted for the mate they abandoned. It was instinct. Not passion. Not love.
Love, I laughed internally. As if such an absurd concept even existed. It was just hormones, that was all.
Suddenly, I felt Koen shift around me, abruptly pulling me from my thoughts. His eyes searched for mine again, and we shared one last long stare before he calmly removed his arms off the wall. My heart skipped a beat in protest, part of me wishing he wouldn’t leave - a part of me I promptly ignored.
“You should get inside. It’s getting late,” he told me softly, his hand reaching for my face.
With the back of his fingers, he caressed my cheek, and I was filled with immense peace. Then, they were gone. I blinked to find his expression now serious, his hand leisurely traveling down my arm. He held my wrist tenderly, his thumb unclenching my fist and skimming over my palm. The wound from earlier had finally healed.
When Koen spoke again, he scolded me, “And stop poisoning yourself, for the light of the crescent.”
Anger should have surged from within. No one told me what to do, especially not him. Yet, I didn’t feel the urge to argue, though I didn’t have the strength to reply either.
“I’ll see you tomorrow…” He made a brief pause before letting my name roll off his tongue. “Avril.”
It made my ears buzz, the way he said it. Even softer than usual. Sweet, like honey. Like he savored the taste of it more than any other word he’d ever spoken - certainly more than he should.
And I just stood there, watching him walk away. Why did I just stand there? Why did I have no reaction? It was like I had been struck by lightning.
Little by little, the freezing air replaced Koen’s warmth, enveloping me. It sent a chill down my spine as reality slowly sunk in.
Instinctively, I brought my hand up to my lips, touching my fingertips to it. Closing my eyes, I could still vividly remember how it felt to have Koen’s lips against them. His taste, his texture, his pressure - they all lingered on my mouth, burning me more than silver ever did.
Goddess, I was going insane.
“Alpha?”
A familiar, whispering voice snapped me out of my trance. I would have jumped back if I wasn’t already leaning against the wall, a rush of adrenaline pumping through my veins as if I hadbeen caught committing a crime. My eyes darted in the direction of the sound to find Theo, his arm wrapped around Elijah’s neck.
There was confusion in their expressions, and it soothed me. They hadn’t seen me with Koen. They must have been enjoying their evening together while I was… Shit, it had really happened, hadn’t it?
“What are you doing outside?” Elijah asked, puzzled at my silence.
I couldn’t tell them the truth. They had already been harassing me since before the first accidental kiss I shared with Koen. If they learned it had happened again - and intentionally - I wouldn’t hear the end of it.
Considering the lack of control I had been experiencing around my ex-mate lately, the last thing I needed was these two encouraging me to go chase rainbows with him. Rainbows were merely an illusion; it occurred when light was reflected inside water and refracted out again into the air. It wasn’t real, and I wouldn’t be fooled by it. I had learned from a young age that what glitters is seldom gold.
At last, I managed to recover my composure, addressing them with a neutral expression, “I was thinking about our mission. Needed some fresh air to analyze things more clearly.”
Judging by their hesitation, they didn’t fully believe me, but they weren’t too suspicious either.
“How did the hunt go?” Theo inquired.
“It was a setback I couldn’t avoid,” I replied coldly. “Now, I need to find the most optimal route to retrieve the urn as quickly as possible. We have been away from home for too long; I don’t want to wait for the next hunt to try again.”
They nodded in understanding, and Elijah offered, “Would you like our help with a new plan?”
Pushing myself off the wall, I said, “It’s late. We can talk tomorrow.” I attempted a smile as I turned my back to them, walking toward my door. “Rest well, you two.”
The moment I was by myself in my suite, guilt washed over me.