Page 58 of Rejected and Regretted

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A V R I L

For the first timeafter Koen and I shared an intimate moment, neither of us acted as if it hadn’t happened afterwards. We didn’t feel the need to talk about it, but we also didn’t avoid each other, and we didn’t brush it off either. There was a change in our relationship.

I hadn’t realized that Koen had been holding himself back until he wasn’t anymore. What might have come off as him being reluctant to be seen with me, now became clear was merely fear of moving too fast and pushing me away. He began acting more naturally around me, and I actually started believing everything he had told me about our past.

Little by little, I, too, started letting go of the grudge I held so tightly against him. Maybe it was the intensity of the last twenty-four hours, or the fact that we were in a secluded haven, away from the childhood home where I had collected so many scars, and even the two men who followed and looked up to me. I suddenly had the courage and freedom to allow myself to explore and try to understand the feelings I had been fighting.

And that wasn’t the only thing that had changed. Since the kiss we shared in public, the other leaders were looking at us differently. They didn’t start underestimating Koen, as I had suggested, but rather they seemed to respect him more. Fromwhat I had been able to gather from snippets of conversations I overheard after we became the talk of the town, it appeared other alphas admired him for fighting his own beta to defend the woman he cared for. Some even feared what he would do if they got in the way of us.

Instead of making me uncomfortable, the situation brought me a semblance of peace. I was still trying to figure out how I truly felt about Koen, but that wouldn’t change what I needed to do. Once I could finally find the artifact I came to Whispering Hills to get, and it was time for me to disappear from his life like smoke, it would be relieving to know that I at least helped him establish new alliances. That I wouldn’t leave him high and dry.

“You still want to leave?”A faint, distant question wavered in my head. Kea. Her head was low and her ears back, denouncing her hesitation.

Allowing myself no time to think - because thinking might lead to a mistake if I listened to my feelings - I replied decisively,“We stillhaveto leave.”Taking a deep breath, I continued,“Whether we decide to forgive Koen for the past or not, it doesn’t change what happened. We’re not mates anymore.”Instead of the usual anger, a sting pierced my heart as I admitted the truth.“We have a pack of our own, people counting on us to return. People who need what we came here to find. Come what may, our destiny no longer lies with Koen - it lies with Azure Smoke.”

Albeit uncertain, my wolf didn’t argue with me. She simply retreated to the back of my mind, in silence, leaving me alone with my thoughts again. Until a different voice reminded me that I actually had company.

“You’re doing it again,” Koen whispered, pulling me back to reality.

He was sitting across from me at a table for two in the middle of the crowded dining hall. After brunch, I dropped Koen off athis room to rest and heal. I then went to my own suite, where I waited until he was up again. Since it was almost dinner time, we changed and headed here to have our final meal of the day. By now, Koen had almost cleaned his plate, while I had barely touched mine.

“What’s on your mind?” he insisted, leaning forward on the table, his penetrating gaze piercing my soul. “Talk to me.”

I had to blink a couple of times before I could manage a smile. “Sorry. I’m just a little tired…” Clutching the silverware, I shifted my attention back to my plate. “And the food is really good. I guess I was relishing it.”

From the corner of my eye, I watched his face twitch slightly, letting me know he hadn’t really bought my lie. Yet he played along. “They do go all out on these events. Only the best ingredients and renowned chefs,” he observed.

I put more effort into not zoning out again until dinner was over. A hint of awkwardness still hung in the air as I tried to avoid the war of thoughts going on in my mind and Koen pretended not to notice it. After having dessert over casual conversation, we quietly readied ourselves to leave the dining hall.

And as we waited by ourselves in the lobby for the elevator, Koen broke the silence again.

“Thank you, Avril,” he uttered, not bothering to look at me as he stood by my side.

Taken by surprise, I glanced up at him. “For what?”

“For coming with me,” he replied, a deep sense of gratitude in his expression. “It’s been the best business trip I’ve ever been to.”

“You almost got yourself killed,” I pointed out in a low voice, appalled.

“Yet I persevered,” he countered serenely. “Because you reminded me that there was something worth living for.”Finally, he turned to face me, his eyes staring deeply into mine. Tenderly, he took my hand in both of his, caressing the back of it with his thumbs. Leaning closer, he added, “Something worthfightingfor.”

There was something about his words; his gesture. The utmost sincerity in his tone struck a chord within me. My heart soared, and I suddenly felt lightheaded.

Maybe I was scared to continue this conversation. Maybe I was afraid of how much I had changed since I returned to Whispering Hills. Maybe I didn’t want to know what would come out of my mouth if I was given no choice but to say something.

Whatever the reason, I found myself standing on the tip of my toes, bringing my face closer to his. Koen stayed still, waiting. His eyes studied me, trying to guess my next move. Tension and lust mixed just the same as our breaths, and I at last took initiative.

“You talk too much,” I complained, silencing him by touching my lips to his.

Koen stiffened, clearly shocked, yet he still gave my tongue passage. Although initially frozen, the heat gradually thawed him. Once he was able to process what was happening, one of his hands gripped my waist, while the other gently brushed my neck, tilting my head slightly to deepen our kiss.

To be fair, I didn’t entirely understand what I was doing myself. For once, I just wanted to give into my feelings completely. Perhaps if I gave my body what it lusted for, I would be freed of the effect my former mate had on me.

And the more I let go, the hungrier I became. What started as a delicate, innocent kiss soon exploded into something primal - raw. Our teeth clashed, our tongues wrestled. The intensity of the moment made me forget that we were in a public area. My canines came out as the wolf inside of me surfaced, eager to play.

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