Page 30 of Shattered and Saved

His statement triggered all of the heavy emotions to fall at once, and as I was overcome with them, irritation shone through my tone. “Why? You think I can’t handle this on my own?” I shot back.

At last, he halted. “That’s not-”

“I used to do just fine before you came along, Koen,” I observed, finally rising from my seat, snapping my head toward him. “Why did you have to get involved?”

He furrowed his brow in confusion, and it was my turn to approach him. “You were the one who rejected me. You crawled your way back into my life, when you had no right to change your mind. And now, everything is falling apart!”

“Wait, so this is my fault?” he asked, trying to act innocent. As if he hadn’t been the one to break down my walls. To sweep me off my feet. To turn my world upside down, when I had everything under control.

“Yes, it’s your fault!” I shouted, my voice rising, chest heaving. The room felt too small, like the walls were closing in on me. My skin tingled with a strange heat, my hands shaking. "You ruined everything! Because of you, I might just lose the only thing that was always truly mine! I put you above my pack - just once, I put someone else first - and now I might lose them all because of you!"

“Avril…” Koen’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper. “Kea,” he called out to my wolf, who had been going wild inside my head, and she suddenly calmed down.

I didn’t realize I was growling until I caught the glint of panic in his eyes, and it made my stomach lurch. He wasn’t fighting back. He was only wary. Of me.

And then it hit me, cold and brutal - I was losing it too.

The same thing that had taken half my pack had its claws in me now. As the realization sunk in, I stumbled backward, horror flooding through me as my heart thundered in my chest. I sank into the chair behind me, my hands trembling as I gripped the edges of the seat, forcing myself to breathe. Koen didn’t say a word, but the silence that stretched between us was deafening.

"I… I’m sorry," I whispered, the words barely audible.

But the damage had already been done.

19

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K O E N

When Avril lashed outat me, it wasn’t her accusations that stung - it was the immediate regret that followed. I watched her stare at her trembling hands, as if they didn’t belong to her. As if she no longer had control over her own body. Slowly, she curled them into fists, not to strike, but to contain whatever monster was clawing its way out.

The moment realization dawned on her, my heart twisted. Each time she apologized, her words were thick with guilt. I’d never seen fear in her eyes before, but suddenly, it was etched into every line of her face, audible in her every breath. Fear of hurting the ones she loved. Of destroying everything she was trying to protect. Of losing herself.

Once the shock wore off, I tried to approach her, desperate to offer some kind of comfort. But she wouldn’t let me. Maybe my danger sense was off, but I couldn’t believe she’d ever truly hurt me. She, however, wasn’t as certain. It was clear that she no longer trusted herself.

After her outburst, Avril locked herself in her chambers. She refused to leave or let anyone visit her. For an entire day, she had meals delivered to her room, and communicated with her team through mindlink only. In the meantime, she kept her mind occupied by reading whatever books they left at her door,running against the clock to try and solve the mystery hounding her pack before they were all gone.

It shattered my heart to see her cage herself, like an animal on the verge of going rabid. With no way to mindlink her, I depended on her friends for updates about her condition, but their reassurances did little to quell the storm of anxiety brewing inside me. I needed to hear her voice - to be by her side. Until I could, my thoughts would continue to spiral, each scenario more haunting than the last, keeping me on edge as I wondered if she would be okay. I hated that I couldn’t help her, no matter how desperately I wanted to.

In her absence, though, I understood what she meant. What I assumed was her taking her anger out on me soon proved to be a substantiated accusation. I learned about the gossip going around from the few pack members who were still clear to roam freely. They talked openly about how they believed I was the cause of it all. That I had disrupted nature’s balance by corrupting their sacred lands with my mundane presence.

I used to be fairly skeptical until I was thrown into a world where legends were real. Now, I might as well assume that curses and higher magical forces actually existed. For all I knew, I could damn well be the problem, and Avril might have been right.

Rhea, on the other hand, insisted that the rumors were entirely unfounded and total nonsense. Since she and Elijah were among the few members of Azure Smoke who hadn’t snapped yet, I was spending most of my time with them. However, the gamma was mostly busy keeping his mate company outside of our training sessions, which meant it was usually just me and the delta.

Though she was reserved and not much of a conversation starter, I found her to be good company. Not that I had the luxury of choice as options had been scarce lately, but Iappreciated her presence despite her stoicism. While tension hung in the air, she appeared unfazed. If she felt any worry about succumbing to whatever had plagued the rest of her pack, she kept it hidden. Honestly, I couldn’t imagine it happening to her; her emotional control was nothing short of enviable.

After another morning of training with Elijah, I was sitting at one of the empty tables at the town square, alone with my thoughts, when Rhea’s voice jolted me back to reality.

“Hey, Koen,” she called. I lifted my gaze to find her walking toward me, expressionless as always. “We’re out of liquid silver. I’m going to the shaman to see if she can prepare some wolfsbane for the tranquilizers. Wanna come?”

Her invitation surprised me. Avril mentioned that they had a shaman at Azure Smoke, but I hadn’t heard of her since. I’d never met any druids before, and as curiosity got the best of me, I took the opportunity. Besides, it wasn’t as if I had more important things to do.

I was growing accustomed to Rhea’s quiet presence. In silence, she led me through an unfamiliar part of the territory. The forest thickened around us, but soon we emerged into a sunlit clearing. At its center stood a modest wooden house, encircled by a vibrant garden filled with exotic flowers, fragrant herbs, and colorful mushrooms. It looked just like I imagined a druid’s home would.

As Rhea knocked on the door, she announced, “Vereya, it’s me. Are you there?”

“Come in, Rhea,” a raspy, yet gentle feminine voice replied.

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