Page 73 of The Last De Loughrey Dynasty

My mother is a lovely woman. The kind of Mum who lived for her children.

Until I got too much.

She explained in a calm and soothing voice that Elsie couldn’t talk to me like that, and that her older brother had… issues, and sometimes needed to be left alone. She had tried to explain it to her daughter as easily and best as possible for a child to process.

The following night, my mother had come to my room and snuggled into bed with me, soothing my hair until I was a goner and off to dreamland. I never knew if she believed I had been asleep when she whispered these words, but I also never acknowledged them.

“I wish I could take this pain away from you, that I could have my sweet little boy back. You’re so lifeless, it pains me every time I look at you.”

Maybe that had been the reason why she agreed with Father to send me away a year before that night came to pass. So she wouldn’t have to look at me.

My mum’s words had stuck with me, and I tried to see the people in front of me. I tried so hard to feel connected tosomeone—anyone, to prove that the boy my mother and sister grieved was still within me.

But there was nothing.

I loved my friends, but I barely ever saw them the way they were.

Do I love the idea of them?

Do I just want to feel better by acting like feeling was easy for me?

Questions over questions and the only thing I knew was that I cared for them and I didn’t want to be left behind while they moved on.

I could never tell them how distant I felt being around them, when all I wanted was to feel connected.

What friend was I to feel that way?

When I first met Dorothee, I couldn’t look away from her. Not only her appearance but her soul that lay on display behind her eyes. It had been so strange to feel alive for the first time in almost eight years. To have a random girl make me feel something at all.

But she wasn’t a random girl.

She has been fated to cross my path since the day she’d been born.

Weeks passed, and my gaze never slipped from her. Like she had been made for me. Her soul in harmony with mine, causing her heart to be the only light I saw in this world.

The stars must terribly hate me to cause such torture as my destiny.

When I watched Nathaniel and Mai, I felt cursed, knowing the only person who I could see wasn’t allowed to have a place by my side.

I didn’t know her all too well, but I’m almost certain that I met her soul the day it was made from starlight. Icy eyes had watched my every step through my dreams for eternity. And forthe longest time, I believed the ethereal being who captured my heart in its light existed only in fantasy… until I saw her that day on the balcony.

The clock hit ten, and I shook off the grief I felt about something that wasn’t destined to be mine. If it wouldn’t hurt her, I’d be selfish.

I’d be selfish and make her mine, going against fate to write our story the way we wanted to. But at the current time, I couldn’t challenge the stars or whoever is in charge like that.

As my hand hovered above the door handle, I heard a whisper echoing through my mind.

“You,”it said, the voice sounding more male than female. I waited, taking a deep breath, not pushing on the door handle for a moment.

“Look in the mirror, kid.”

I spun around, going for the bathroom, where a giant mirror hung above the sink. It was the only mirror I had since I found myself going mad at searching for life in my eyes while looking into one for too long.

The only thing that I saw was my reflection looking back at me. A tall boy with dark shadows beneath his eyes, making them almost look hollow. Knowing I was tired was one thing, but seeing how much my appearance suffered from my lack of sleep was harsh.

Deathly pale, which the black clothes I wore brought out even more. I looked exactly how I felt.

A shadow of myself.

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