Page 95 of The Last De Loughrey Dynasty

Did she know?

Did all of them know about my fate before I did?

“I didn’t know this was about you. But everything clicked into place when I saw you for the first time–”

“You knew the entire time that you’d be my end?” I should have been angry, but all I felt was small and fragile, as if I were made of porcelain and one more crack would cause me to shatter. “That’s why you pushed me away–why you tried so hard to seem like this cold, stubborn rock.” Realisation hit me the hardest now. All this time, I had just believed he was some selfish, rich arsehole. But his coldness had never been meant to show me how pathetic he thought I was. He wanted me to hate him.

Archer had tried everything to keep me at bay, far away from the waves that corrupted his soul. But everything inside me pleaded to dive into those deep waters and perhaps even drown in them if it meant I could be close to him.

“In my head, it seemed so easy to keep you away. And when I couldn’t manage to do that, I thought having you hate me would destroy all chances of this truth. But whatever I did, you just continued to consume every part of me, and not being able to give into these feelings made me want to rip my heart out and give it to you anyway, because a heart alone can’t cause any harm, and you deserve to be loved, Dorothee. To see that you’re so much more than the faded version the world created of you.”

He reached for my hand, and this time, I let him take it, because I longed for nothing more than for his touch to consume me. I knew it would destroy me if I decided to hate him in the end because he hadn’t told me the truth from the beginning.

His rough thumb stroked gently over my knuckles, and his forehead creased before he said, “the others told me it might be easier if you knew, but I couldn’t. If I had told you, I was so sure you’d spiral, and it wasn’t fair, I know, but I needed your trust to work with us on this matter so that we could even have a chance to change this fate. And I wouldn’t hurt you. In no life would I be able to—” He looked up from our entwined hands, and if I wasn’t mistaken, I saw tears gleaming in his eyes. “I know I’m cold and bold, and sometimes I can’t control this raging anger inside me, but I’m not a bad person, and I don’t understand why the stars work so hard to paint me as the villain when all I ever wanted was nothing more than quiet peace.” He sounded so tired.

I placed the diary on the floor beside me and squeezed his hand in both of mine. “I know you’re not a bad person, Archer. You’re not, and I knew it from the beginning.” I thought of those eyes that stared back at me when I woke from the trance Alessandra’s spirit had captured me in. “The moment I first saw you, I was so sure I knew you from somewhere. It was almost like…”

“Like we once used to exist in a world where our souls were entwined as one,” the truth left his lips so easily it was almost scary how we felt the exact same way.

“I can see you, Archer. Endless days and weeks I spent trying to figure you out, but who would have guessed that seeing you seemed as easy as breathing when I just let myself thrive instead of trying to force on the ruthless mask that belonged to someone else?” I’d tried so hard to be the person my parents desired that I’d lost myself along the way. I felt the invisible string between us, but I couldn’t reach for it because of how stubbornly I tried to be careless and strong. But I liked to feel. Feel emotions and the vulnerability of being human. To be able to feel was a blessing.

I liked to feel when I was around him.

“Being powerful in the form of not letting anyone in is admirable, but it’s not for me. Finding myself after being forged into an empty shell was confusing because I wanted to be strong like that. In some ways, I thought being as cold-hearted as my mother would make people think highly of me, since I always believed my own mother to be the strongest person to ever exist. Emotions were unwelcome… but it turns out I like the feel of butterflies in my stomach when I speak with Maisie about simple teenage things while we do our hair, or when Jesse turns the music up too loud and swings me around the room while I can’t contain my laughter. And I welcome the tingling in my chest when you’re around because it’s so simple but so beautiful to feel that you and the others saved me from being nothing.” Tears formed in my eyes as I spoke.

Archer brushed my hair out of my face with his free hand and stroked his thumb over my cheek. “Even before you came here, you were never nothing, Doe. You were just lost in the darkness.”

“And you still are,” I cupped his hand on my cheek with my own. “But you’re not a villain. You’re notmyvillain, Archer, and you never will be.”

He leaned his forehead against mine, and I closed my eyes along with his, wanting this moment to last forever. I wasn’t scared of this prophecy because I felt it wasn’t the truth. And as much as I promised myself I wouldn’t trust again, something inside my heart convinced me that Archer Kingstone would protect my soul with all he had if I let myself rest in his arms.

“I wish it was this easy.” He pulled back, and I opened my eyes to look into a forest of hazel. “But I owe you the truth. Mai saw this night play out. She saw us, and she knows this whole fate will fall into place like dominoes if we pull on this string and give into these feelings.”

I blinked.Was this really how it had to be?

“But if we find the Book of Shadows, history won’t repeat itself–”

“It means we won’t die together like James and Dottie did, but it’s no promise that you won’t…”

“So I’m going to die one way or the other?” My cheeks started to wet from the tears flowing, but Archer brushed them away with his thumb. Just because I found peace in the possibility of leaving this earth in six months didn’t mean I wanted to die.

“No. I won’t let death take you away, you hear? I will stay in this darkness forever if it means you’re safe.”

But I didn’t want him to suffer a lifetime because of possibilities. But I also didn’t want to die, and I didn’t feel selfish about admitting that to myself.

“What if we stay close but don’t let anything happen until the day of the Ball of Aquila is over?” It sounded insane to even want and risk it all for love, and perhaps this wasn’t even going to be love. All I knew in this moment was that I cherished my time with him and I looked forward to every time I would see him again. “I don’t want to die, but I also don’t want to cut this string between us just because some words on paper say I’m doomed if I stay too close to you.”

Archer said nothing for a long moment, but as soon as his lips formed my name, I saw what he was about to say. “Dorothee–”

“No. This is my decision, and I wish for you to respect it. Don’t push me away because you think it’s easier that way. Don’t be an arsehole because you want me to hate you. Be by my side and let me pull you out of this darkness as your friend until the time has come where we’re allowed to try and figure out what we truthfully want.” I lifted my hand and tangled my fingers in his black curls for a moment before I managed a smile. “You won’t hurt me, and besides, you wouldn't be able to anyway because I grew really fond of that bow and arrow the school let me borrow.”

Archer broke into a laugh and nodded, “Alright, I can live with the knowledge that if I mess this up, I’ll end up with an arrow through my heart.”

“Precisely, but you won’t mess this up,” I corrected him.

“Sometimes I’m afraid you think too highly of me.”

“No, Archer. You just think too little of yourself.”

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