“Really?” Nell sounds surprised. “Because we honestly thought you two were going to murder each other the second we left you alone.”
Everest chuckles softly and I latch onto that familiar sound. It winds its way through me, spreading warmth everywhere it goes. It soothes my fatigue, washes away the grit scraping against my nerves. I close my eyes as it wraps itself around me and sinks into the deepest parts of me. I need that sound. I need to bury myself in it until it drowns out absolutely everything else.
“Yeah, I did too. But, you know what, I don’t think I gave him a fair chance before. He’s not that bad. He’s…”
I lean forward, eager to hear what he’s going to say next. For a split second, I’m convinced he’s going to say something snarky and rude. He’s going to say I’m stuck up, that I’m an asshole, and he wouldn’t be wrong.
I am stuck up. I am an asshole. That truth is plainly obvious. I like my life structured in a very particular way and I’m not great at compromise. But if I’ve learned anything since moving in with Everest, it’s that life doesn’t work that way. It’s unpredictable.It’s unruly. It doesn’t follow a straight line or any logical rules. Trying to force life into my neat little boxes is always going to end in disaster.
Everest taught me that.
I gulp.
Everest has taught me a lot.
“He’s more than I gave him credit for.” Everest speaks so softly I almost can’t hear him.
“Really?” Nell asks again, practically incredulous.
I hate to admit it, but I kind of agree with her.
“Yeah, he’s… I don’t know, he’s cool.”
I can hear the smile in Everest’s voice, the sentimentality, the fondness. It breaks something inside me and sends me staggering. Because I feel the same way.
I drag in a shaky breath and sink down onto a step.
God, what’s happening? What are we doing? How did we get here? We definitely still hated each other when we first moved into the house, but in the blur of the past several months, we went from enemies to tolerating each other to… whatever this thing is called. Friends with benefits? Co-parents with benefits?
I cringe at myself. Both of those descriptions are awful.
I drag my hands down my face and scratch my fingers through the beard I’ve unexpectedly grown. After a few weeks of not shaving, I gave up on the clean-cut look and just embraced the damn thing.
Isn’t that the perfect metaphor for this year? Wave after wave of life buffeting me from all sides until I have no choice but to give up and sink beneath the water. The metaphorical water that is Everest. And the unsettling thing is, I like it here. I don’t want to leave. If anything, I think I want to dive deeper.
“Owen?”
I stir, looking up just as Everest descends the stairs, stopping a few steps below me so we’re level with each other.
“What are you doing? You okay?”
I regard him for a moment, taking in his mess of light brown hair, his eyes that always seem to be laughing, that little scar by his ear from a surfing accident years ago. The jaw that I love dragging my lips over. The mouth that makes a perfect O when we’re in bed.
Everest smiles at me and it feels like the sun is filling the stairwell, like there’s no one else on earth but us.
I hold out my hand, he doesn’t hesitate to take it, and I pull him down onto the step next to me.
“I’m sorry,” I say, holding his big hand between both of my own. My fingers run over his knuckles, smooth down the hair on the back, trace his callouses. “For being a jerk earlier.”
Everest sighs and curls his fingers so they’re intertwined with mine. “You didn’t text, didn’t call. I couldn’t reach you. A part of me thought that maybe…” He clears his throat. “I was worried.”
Guilt hits me hard. I’msuchan asshole. It didn’t even occur to me that he would be worried about me, that not being able to reach me might trigger some painful memories. “Fuck, I’msosorry. Everything was going wrong at work today, and I just got so caught up in it all, I didn’t even think to—” I cut myself off and take a calming breath. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. Just… don’t do that to us again, ’kay?” His voice trembles, adding fuel to my guilt.
“I won’t. I promise.” I lift our clasped hands and press a kiss to the back of his.
After a moment of silence, Everest speaks. “Did you have time to eat today?”