Page 61 of Pumped

She lets out a soft chuckle. “No, I definitely did not.”

“Are you…” I search for the right word, not certain what it is I’m trying to ask. “Surprised? Disappointed?”

Her gaze goes soft. “Surprised, yes. You two have never gotten along. But disappointed? No. Why would you think that?”

Hell if I know. The question just formed on my tongue.

“Areyoudisappointed?” she asks and my reply comes hurtling out of me.

“No! I’m… terrified and… not excited necessarily, but… anticipatory.” I have to drag each word out from the depths of my soul, and even then, the vocabulary doesn’t seem sufficient to describe the full scope of my feelings.

Mom gives me a small smile. “It sounds like you’re in love.”

My gaze snaps to her as shockwaves roll through me. “What?” I spit out.

She holds up innocent hands. “I’m not saying you are. I’m just saying itsoundslike it.”

Love. Am I in love with Everest? No. I can’t be. Can I?

Less than six months ago, I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him and now I supposedly love the guy? Is that possible? Can it happen this quickly?

I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. Nothing makes sense, and unfortunately, I don’t think there’s a book that can explain it to me.

“How long have you been sleeping together?”

“For a few weeks now.”

“Does Ivy know?”

“No,” I say vehemently. “We’ve been careful, I swear.” That would be a nightmare we definitely don’t need. How the hell would we explain it? What if things don’t work out? What if we end up hating each other more than we did before? How would we continue co-parenting? Jesus. I don’t even want to contemplate that.

Mom nods like she doesn’t quite believe me, but she doesn’t press the issue. Patting my knee, she continues. “You know, now that I think about it, I can see how you and Everest work together.”

Is she messing with me? “Really?”

Mom shakes her head. “It’s not obvious, I’ll grant you that. But you’re like two sides of the same coin. You both want the same things. You care about the same things. You just have different ways of going about it.”

I can’t tell if she actually believes that or if she’s just saying it to appease me, but the idea is… intriguing. I never would have agreed six months ago, but after all this time living with Everest and working with him, I can’t rule it out entirely.

We both love Ivy. We both want what’s best for her. We’re both still grieving. We’re both trying to build a life around this new normal. We definitely have different parenting styles and different ways of dealing with grief, but maybe our visions of what a fulfilling and meaningful life looks like aren’t as disparate as I once believed.

“I’m scared, Mom.”

She wraps her arm around me and I slouch down a little so she can reach. “It’s perfectly reasonable to be scared, Owen. Love is scary, especially when you have so much at stake.”

Is love supposed to feel like this? The need to be around Everest all the time, to touch him whenever I can. The lightnessI feel when we’re in the same room. The soul-deep satisfaction I have when we’re all tangled up together in bed. This bubbly feeling in my stomach that makes me more than a little giddy.

If it is, then I might be in love with Everest. And he might love me back.

Footsteps, then voices, filter through the patio’s screen door. Mom gives me a sideways hug and plants a quick kiss on my head like she did when I was a little boy.

“I should go get breakfast started.”

I follow her inside to find Ivy sitting at the kitchen table with Nell and Graham. She’s still in her PJs, but her hair has been pulled back into an elaborate braid.

“Look, Uncle O! Nana did it for me!” She turns around to present me with the back of her head.

I run my fingers lightly over the complex pattern. “Wow! That looks so cool! Maybe Nana Nell can teach me how to do that. Then I can braid your hair when we go home.”

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