Page 184 of Colt

“No, baby. I’m not,” he assured me. “It’s just that I can’t spread myself any thinner than I have already. If I take anything else on, I’ll fail everyone, and there’s too much at stake for me to let my dad win. I love you and wherever you end up I’ll find you. I’ll visit. I’ll do everything in my power to make it work.”

“Okay,” I whispered, my eyes brimming with unshed tears. “I’ll let you go.”

“Thanks,” he muttered blankly, his mind probably somewhere else already “Call you soon.”

“Bye,” I breathed before clicking the end call button and sinking down into the nearest chair.

Elbows to knees, I held my head in my hands, trying to keep it together.

I was so sick of feeling like an imposition. So tired of the loneliness gripping my heart. It was funny how Colt said he was scared of failing everybody when he’d already failed me. I hadn’t seen him for weeks and he wouldn’t commit to a future with me, even after everything we’d sacrificed to be together.

Everything was falling apart, but I knew I couldn’t. I had to live my life, and hope that one day Colt would find his way back to me. Maybe after everything he still wasn’t ready, and I just needed to stop moping and start concentrating on the areas of my life I could control, like work.

If Colt wouldn’t give me what I needed, I’d have to make my own happiness. It wasn’t what I wanted, but I couldn’t carry on the way I was.

I picked my cell up again and began to look for flights.

Maybe a few days in a little fishing town in Maine would be just what the doctor ordered.

Palomar Bay was a beautiful place. I could already tell the rolling seas would be stunning in the summer. The town had a community feel, much like Hambleton. It felt safe and homely, and the feelings of comfort it gave me were wonderful.

The hospital was small, but efficient. My meeting with Doctor Manning went well and he seemed eager to get me on board. A nurse called Vivi showed me around. She was a widow and a single mom and reminded me a lot of Sophie in her personality.

Vivi and her friend Lulu’s shift finished at the same time as my interview. She talked me into going for coffee with them and seeing a little more of the town while I was there. The hospital was in walking distance, so we headed to Main Street together, enjoying a stroll in the crisp winter afternoon.

“This is Beanie Love,” Lulu told me as we approached a small café with a blue and white striped awning over the door. “It’s the hub of the community.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Vivi told me, eyeing Lulu frustratedly. “Palomar Bay is much more than just a coffee shop. We’re a coastal town, so summers are busy. We’ve got some great bars and restaurants, and I can tell you from experience that the schools are second to none.”

The warmth of the coffee shop hit me as we walked inside. I looked around, taking in the old-fashioned but clean décor, and smiled. We placed our order and found a seat near the back of the room close to a group of elderly ladies who sat together at a big table.

“Well,” one of them cackled. “Who’s this young thing?”

“Hi, Pearl,” Vivi greeted her. “This is Freya. She’s just interviewed at the hospital for the Internship starting next summer.”

Her mouth downturned. “She won’t do at all. We need a strapping young man to take the job.”

Lulu rolled her eyes. “Excuse her. She means well. One thing you’ll learn about Palomar Bay is that there’s way more women than men. A lot of the guys don’t return after college unless they want to be a fisherman or a run a store. We have a firehouse, and of course the hospital, but not much else.”

One of the other old ladies looked me over. “You’ll do well,” she murmured, looking me up and down like a piece of meat. You’re pretty, so I’m sure you’ll ensnare one of the single men sooner rather than later.”

I smiled. “It’s okay,” I assure her. “I have a boyfriend.”

Her eyes lit up. “Where is he?”

“New York,” I explained. “He’s got family issues at the moment, but if I did move here, he’d visit. My family too. My dad runs a motorcycle club, and my three brothers are officers. I’m sure they’d visit with their wives and kids.”

Pearl sat up a little straighter and waggled her eyebrows at me. “Are they anything like that Sons of Anarchy hunk with the blond hair?” She turned to her friend. “Believe me, Doris, I’d clean his exhaust pipe out any time.”

“No, they’re better.” I pulled my phone from my purse and clicked on my camera roll, moving to sit at the old lady table. “That’s my oldest brother, Cash,” I said, pointing to his picture.” There’s Bowie and Breaker. He’s the youngest brother, but I’m the youngest out of all of them, and the only girl.”

“And who’s that fine slab of man-meat?” Doris asked.

“My dad,” I murmured. “The president of the club.”

“Oh my,” she muttered. “Look at his guns.”

I winced.

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