Page 45 of Colt

One tear fell down her face, but she beamed.

I ignored the warm feeling spreading through my chest. “Hurry up and shower. I’ll dry off and wait for you in the livin’ room.” I turned and left my girl to finish up, going back into her bedroom and pulling my jeans back on.

I’d had every intention of making out with Freya in that fuckin’ shower, but after the Lucy incident, it seemed wrong somehow. Bad timing.

It didn’t feel right to get down and dirty after essentially talkin’ about blow jobs with Lucy. I’d effectively killed the mood with that phone call. Maybe I shouldn’t have done it in front of Freya, but I needed her to understand that Lucy meant nothing to me, especially when compared to her.

I meant what I said, my princess really was my best friend. We understood each other. When I was with her, I could be myself. I wasn’t the nerd or the know-it-all. I was just me, and I loved that she looked deeper than everybody else.

It worked both ways. I recognized how hard Freya worked and how she tried to make everybody around her happy. I knew she loved training to be a doctor, but I also suspected she did it as much for her dad as for herself. I knew she felt less important than her brothers because her dad’s focus was on the club, though I knew he worshipped her.

Doing what made her pop happy was Freya’s way of making herself feel worthy.

I’d known her since she was a kid. Even then, something about her called to me. I’d always loved and admired her spirit and her deep-rooted desire to care about everybody around her. As she grew up, the love grew too, until it mutated into the kind of love I’d never dared to wish for myself.

She was always meant to be mine. I didn’t want to hurt my prez or my brothers, so I sacrificed my own needs for theirs. But very soon, Dagger wouldn’t be my prez; Breaker, Cash, and Bowie would no longer be my brothers, and it bothered me, but strangely, not as much as it should.

Where one door closed, another opened, and behind this particular door stood Freya.

I’d wasted so much damned time; however, it was becoming clear that we would’ve ended up together regardless.

All the meeting with Shep had done was open my eyes and, in a roundabout way, make the inevitable happen sooner. Even if I hadn’t been recruited, I would’ve woken up and eventually claimed Freya, and I’d have had to leave the club, anyway.

I was so deep in my thoughts I hadn’t heard the shower turn off, so when Freya walked into the lounge wearing her robe, it startled me.

“I can’t believe you just did that,” she said huskily. “Are you okay ending things with Lucy?”

I froze, head rearing back as I looked for signs she was yanking my chain. When I saw she meant it seriously, I threw my head back and laughed.

“Hey!” she admonished. “It’s not funny. You were together for nearly a year. She must’ve had some qualities you liked, or else why be with her for so long?”

I knew Freya was right. Ten months was a long time to be around a woman I didn’t want. But there were reasons for it.

“She seemed sweet when I met her.” I patted the space beside me, gesturing for her to sit. “Her personality changed so slowly I didn’t notice at first, then a few weeks ago, I turned around, and it hit me that she wasn’t who I thought she was.” Freya sat down next to me, and I slid an arm across her shoulders, pulling her close. “I was lazy, baby. I kept her around because it was convenient, but also because it forced me to stay away from you. I think subconsciously, I used her as a buffer.”

“You did,” she whispered. “And it hurt me because I thought you were my friend.”

“I know,” I replied, voice thick with self-reproach. “But we stopped being friends the day you hit twenty-one. After that, it became more. I knew being with you would change every aspect of my life, and I needed time to come to terms with what that meant. You did too, Frey. Bein’ an old lady isn’t an easy life.”

She let out a soft snort. “I know the life, Colt. I’ve lived it longer than you, remember?”

My jaw ticked. “I know, Frey, but I can understand why your dad worries.”

She laughed softly. “Dad doesn’t usually remember I exist.”

“He thinks the world of you,” I argued.

“I know he loves me,” she replied. “But my brothers are more important to him.”

“Not the impression I get.” I played with a lock of her wet hair. “Why does he warn all the club members off you if he doesn’t care?”

“He doesn’t do that for me. He does it because he’s got an idea of who I should be and the life I should lead. Any other dad would just want their daughter to be happy. My dad wants me to be happy but only onhisterms.”

Her words stopped me in my tracks.

Freya was right when she said Prez had specific ideas of what and who he wanted for her, but was his controlling behavior out of hand?

The Sinners were dangerous. They’d taken Breaker’s daughter, Kady, and had something to do with Robbie Henderson kidnapping Layla. I could understand Dagger’s desire to keep her away from the club so she wasn’t constantly looking over her shoulder. But was it becoming detrimental to what Freya wanted for herself?

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