My throat went dry, and something painful stabbed through my chest.
I turned away and took a fortifying breath. I’d never really thought about how all of this would affect my dad’s friendship with Colt before. He was a favorite. Dad made it obvious. Whenever he spoke of Colt, it was with pride because Pop knew how unique his abilities were.
Seeing them together with their tight bond made me sit up, and for the first time, realize how deep mine and Colt’s betrayal would cut him. Dad’s best bud was Abe, without a doubt, but Colt came a close second. How would he feel when he left and took me with him?
I couldn’t put into words how proud I was to be with Colt, but at that moment, watching my dad greet him like he would a son, I wasn’t feeling particularly proud of myself.
Love was all very well and good, but was I being selfish?
“Hey,” Cara murmured quietly, looking between me and the bar. “Stop second-guessing yourself. You’ve got a right to be happy too.”
My stomach settled a little at her words. She was right, to a point, but I had to ask myself, was my happiness more important than my dad’s?
She took my hand and slipped something in my palm, closing my fingers over it. “There are stairs at the back of the gallery leading up to a small, contained room with a bed, TV, and a fridge. You’ve also got a small bathroom attached. It’s all yours.”
My jaw dropped at her understanding and generosity. If anyone ever found out what she’d done, she’d be given a hard time. “Are you sure?”
She made a meh gesture. “I disagree with John. I understand, but I disagree. We all deserve to be with the one we love, and I want you to be happy.”
My throat heated at the emotion in her tone.
It was only recently that Cara had given Xander another chance after he cheated on her years ago. She’d left town and got engaged to the man who, not only put my brother in prison, but also secretly terrorized the women of Hambleton.
Their relationship—which was highly toxic—had settled into something so much better for them. Losing Cara entirely had made Cash turn himself around, and seeing them so happy together almost brought me to tears after everything they’d been through.
My eyes automatically slid toward Colt, the same way they had since I was a girl. He sat on a stool at the bar surrounded by Dad, Atlas, and my brothers. He laughed at something on his phone and held it up for the others to see, before his ocean-blues flickered to mine and softened.
My heart wrenched toward him, and my breath caught inside my throat because although I had doubts about lying, I knew it would be worth it just to be his.
We had to get through the next few months as best we could.
Like Colt said, we just had to keep the faith.
Chapter Eighteen
Colt
I loved being back at the club, but I yearned for the freedom Freya and I had back in Denver.
I missed touching her, missed kissing her soft lips, and the craving I had for her intensified. Therefore, when she messaged and told me about the key she had to Cara’s gallery, I breathed a sigh of relief.
Now I just had to get outta the fucking place, ‘cause since I’d been back, Prez hadn’t let me out of his sight. He was driving me nuts. Every day, seeing Freya and having to hold back was frustrating me.
“I miss you,” Freya murmured down the phone. “I’m so sick of this.”
I swiveled my chair around to face the door so I could watch for somebody coming in. Living in a perpetual state of nervousness disagreed with me too, but what else could we do?
“Your dad’s keeping me busy, baby. Go to the gallery tonight. I’ll do my best to get over there,” I rasped, tone thick with emotion. “Last night, Prez sat in my office until midnight shooting the shit, so if he does it again, I won’t make it, but I promise I’ll try.”
The sound of her deep sigh wrapped around my lungs and squeezed tight. The day I admitted my feelings for Freya, my heart settled. Not being able to pull her into my arms was killing me, especially when she was so close. My body felt deprived of her like it was starved. I needed my girl fix to allow my brain and body to function.
“Hiding us hurts,” Freya sniffed.
Her words sunk into my already heavy chest.
What did she want me to do? I couldn’t exactly walk into the bar, fling her over my shoulder, and take her to my room for a good fuck. “You know we gotta be careful. It feels wrong sneaking off together while we’re under your dad’s roof. There’s nothin’ I can do, so why give me shit?”
She paused briefly. “I never meant it that way—”