Page 53 of On The Rocks

“I know,” I agreed dryly. “I could just do with his advice right about now.”

My dad may have screwed up, but he did it for the right reasons.

His mistakes didn’t negate the fact that he was an astute businessman or that, with just one word, he could instill enough confidence in me to make a decision and give me the inspiration to achieve my goals.

Ma was still grieving, as was Ash. Tadhg kept his cards close to his chest, and Donovan would rather ignore his negative emotions for Da by throwing himself into his new gym than dealing with them. Talking to Maeve a few moments before had been the first time since the funeral that anyone had acknowledged my grief, and it made me ache because I’d never needed my da more. His opinion had always meant everything to me; being without him felt like I was stranded on a desert island, out on a limb, and sharks like Patrick Doyle were circling.

Everything rested on my shoulders, and the pressure was starting to weigh me down. Add on the fact I had a new wife and a marriage I was trying to navigate when I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, and my brain was close to exploding. All the new feelings and emotions Maeve was bringing to the surface were so damned confusing. I didn’t know if I should hold on and enjoy the ride or keep my distance from her.

My heavy sigh was so loud it echoed through the room.

This was exactly why I didn’t do serious.

It was a total head-fuck.

“Okay,” Donovan stated matter-of-factly. “Let’s look at the facts. You’ve got what? Thirty thousand in your back pocket?

“Forty,” I corrected. “Plus, a fifty-K line of credit with the bank, but that’s linked to the business.”

“You can sell up here and get what? One-ninety?”

I nodded.

“But still not enough to repay Patrick by a long shot,” Donny stated. “You’ve got no choice. You either make this shit work or lose everything; though you’d lose everything anyway, so you may as well work hard, invest what you have left and try to get a return on it. Sometimes, these small breweries produce something special that gets picked up by the big leagues. If that happens, you can negotiate enough to pay Patrick off. We can show our stuff off once Maeve’s perfected her recipe, and I tell ya something, brother, if anyone can hit on a winner, it’s her; she’s a perfectionist. In the meantime, we turn this place around and get it back to what it was. It’s been long enough since that business with the old mayor; the town needs this, the family fucking needs it,” his hand hit my shoulder, “and more to the point, you do. You think I haven’t noticed you pull away more since Da died? Ya think I’m not worried sick?”

The gut punch hit me outta nowhere like I’d been physically struck. The back of my throat heated, and I had to pull in a deep breath to stop myself from tearing up.

“You can feel it, bro,” Donovan urged. “It’s okay to show emotion. I’m furious with him, and I can’t hide it. I miss the old bastard every day, but our relationship was always more contentious than yours.”

“I dunno how to grieve him, Donny,” I croaked. “I can’t lose my shit; I haven’t got time. Since Da passed, I’ve had so much on my plate, and in a way, I’m grateful for it ‘cause it’s kept my head together. Tadhg won’t talk about him. Mam’s walking around like a zombie. Ash was scared to leave her side, and I didn’t even get a chance to talk to her before she left. How’s she doing with everything?”

Donny shrugged. “She’s okay. I think we’re all in the mindset where we’re forcing ourselves to move on without taking the time to talk about it. Maybe we should make time for Mamtonight. See if Maeve will check in with us. We all lost him, but Mam will be feeling it the most.”

“Okay,” I agreed. “We’ll talk about our plans for the bar and try to get her involved. It may help her to have something to do to take her mind off him.”

“We can’t bury it all, though, bro. It’s not healthy.”

My gut clenched painfully. “I know. I hope it’ll happen organically, the healing process.”

Donovan snorted quietly. “Maybe we’re too fucked up.”

My lips twitched. “Tell me somethin’ I don’t know.”

“All we can do is our best, Cal,” Donny murmured. “Life’s changed drastically in a short amount of time. If you’re not ready to cry and wail, then don’t. Maybe throwing yourself into a project like this is what you need to do for now. Maybe he even wanted it for ya. Who the fuck knew how Da’s mind worked half the time? I just worry it’ll eat you from the inside if you don’t let it out.”

I saw Donny’s point, especially since I also had the same concerns about him.

“How about we keep checking in on each other?” I suggested. “Make a point of talking once in a while. In the meantime, we’ll spend more time with Ma and give her shit to do for the grand reopening of the bar.”

“So, you’re going ahead with it then?” he asked.

Slowly, I nodded. “I don’t think I’ve got much choice. You know what Ma says. In for a penny, in for a pound.”

“Or, in this case, in with your last cent and the shirt off your back for good measure, or else our friendly family of mobsters will blow your kneecaps off.”

“Yeah.” I barked a laugh. “That too.”

Donovan jerked his thumb in the direction of the bar. “You’ve got an asset in Maeve, though, Callum. She’ll see you right. You could’ve done a lot worse there, especially when it comes toresearching all this shit. I bet ya by tomorrow lunchtime, that girl knows exactly what she’s brewing, how she’ll do it, and she’ll have all our suppliers lined up and the pants charmed off ‘em for good measure.”

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