Page 35 of Harley

“Holy shit. They’re crazy,” Oakley muttered.

“I tried to warn you,” I responded in self-defence.

Oakley turned to look at Mom.

Mom had a large bottle of Southern Comfort out and was pouring it neat. A quarter was gone already. Mom was also muttering under her breath.

“Nashoba will never be the same,” Artemis hissed, grabbing the bottle off Mom and drinking straight from it. “I warned Ace and Apache he was too young for heritage stories. Now my poor boy will have nightmares of Ace being trapped inside a fucking elf!”

“Noah and Asher won’t ever trust another damn elf on the shelf again,” Autumn spat, snatching the bottle from Artemis. “They’re five years old, and those asshole men just stole elf on the shelf from me!”

“You can always tell them you’ve checked with Santa and that the elf is a good one,” Jodie suggested, taking the drink from Autumn.

“Great idea, girl! She’s got your brains,” Artemis said, beaming at Jodie.

“Asher will be traumatised for life.” Autumn sighed and grabbed the Southern Comfort back.

I stood up and headed to the drinks cabinet and pulled out some bottles. Oakley watched amused as I handed Artemis a Jack Daniels and Lindsey, who was sitting morosely, a bottle of Amaretto. Lindsey opened it and took a deep mouthful. Marsha wriggled her fingers for the Tequila.

“EJ’s hair was singed. His beautiful locks. I’m going to scalp my fucking husband when he’s asleep,” Lindsey muttered.

I snickered as Oakley winced. If she wasn’t on painkillers, I’d give her a drink.

I suppose I should be grateful that she’d injured her feet. Otherwise, she’d run from this madhouse screaming.

Oakley shook her head as I fetched her a diet coke. She seemed in shock, so the sugar should perk her up. I hoped.

“Welcome to the family,” I said as Oakley gazed at me.

“Thank fuck I can get a divorce,” she replied and laughed as I winced.

???

Oakley wheeled herself towards me, looking panicked. It was two days to Christmas and the chaos hadn’t stopped.

This morning had been a nightmare. Axel and Ace had taken half the Hellions to make ornaments. It’d been a massacre. The Princesses had decimated the Legacies. Why the fuck they hadn’t split the boys into one group and the girls into another, I didn’t know.

Ace was drinking the hard stuff as Nashoba had elbowed Nokomis, and she’d smashed his head into the table in retaliation. Nashoba would now have a wonderful bruise across his forehead for Christmas, which meant Artemis was on the warpath.

Ace had disappeared with a bottle of Tequila. Worse, Artemis was upstairs trying to wash the glue out of Nashoba’s hair and not have to shave the kid bald.

From there, it deteriorated so quickly I thought we were living in an insane asylum. Julianna, in a fit, nearly glued Hawk’s lips together. The twins had been separated, but that hadn’t stopped them from fighting. Despite Ace taking scissors away from Robin while he’d dealt with the Dante situation, Robin had cut Lexie’s ringlets on one side.

Sin had completely melted down, and Jett had taken Lexie to the hairdressers in an emergency. In the meantime, Dante had marked a huge D on Aria’s head, claiming that was his mark on her.

The princesses had gone batshit crazy and drawn a dick on his forehead. Gunner was now gunning for Dad and Dante, and they’d both disappeared. Seemed my father and brother had a sense of self-preservation.

Oakley had been horrified when she’d seen Dante.

If this hadn’t been an arranged marriage, I knew Oakley would have run screaming from here and demanded a divorce. Hell, she still might. Especially after the cookie fiasco that I’d been present for. That deteriorated between Garrett, Jake, and Amelia.

It then proceeded to break into a full-scale war after Peyton sprayed Elijah, Kite, and Eagle with icing for messing with Isla’s cookies. After that, it was save your damn self until Mrs Ames stopped it.

Of course, Oakley had witnessed everything. I knew she’d be joining the old ladies who, for the third day in a row, had started drinking early. I wondered if I should be concerned for their livers and decided what the hell. The women deserved it.

How Dad had talked Mom into letting the brothers plan Christmas, I don’t know. But Mom did also kind of deserve this for agreeing!

“Harley!” Oakley screamed as she headed towards me at speed.

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