Page 30 of Beginnings

Chapter 8

Ember

My heart hammeredagainst my ribs, and breath exploded from my lungs. No matter how much I wanted to go back; I couldn’t. There was no way I could win against the shit storm of armed men that had descended on Connor, and that knowledge was killing me. I wanted to be stronger, to be enough to save him and Rawson, but I wasn’t. I was leaving my mate to die. Doherty wouldn’t keep them alive, not now. They’d seen too much—and he would hunt me down. I had to disappear from this life, and there was only one place I could go.

Dusk fell and the forest became wreathed in shadows. I skidded to a halt, listening hard over my panting breaths. A stick cracked, the sound like a gunshot in the still forest. Carefully, I slunk along, low to the ground, my wolf’s steps light enough she didn’t make a sound. Shadows swathed me, so, just as I did when I was younger, I made myself smaller and faded into them. Another faint crack of undergrowth. They were approaching slowly. Perhaps they were waiting for me to run right into their trap.

A fallen tree lay nearby. It’s rough and rotting bark was covered in moss and surrounded by a messy carpet of pine needles. Several large phallus shaped fungi grew near it. I could have cried. Its pungent stink would hide my own scent from the shifters. I darted into the dip beneath the rotten tree trunk, and, carefully missing the fungi, I hunkered down and waited.

My thirst raged, cobwebs tickled my nose, and little creatures crawled through my fur. Still, I didn’t move. I inhaled deeply. Under the foul fungi stink, the scents of aftershave, sweat and shifter were unmistakable. The agents were moving, but going slowly, warily.

I cowered lower, willing them to pass me by. My muscles cramped and shook, and it took every bit of my self-control to regulate my breathing when all I wanted to do was leap out and rip apart the men who killed my family. Because of them, I had no one.

After the death of my parents, I had promised myself I would never love or rely on anyone again. Well, that promise was shot to shit. Now there was a new hole in my chest, and no matter how much I wanted to believe Connor was alive, those gunshots had told me all I needed to know. I swallowed the ache in my throat and pushed down my fear. I would survive, if only so I could hunt down Doherty and destroy him.

Hours passed, and I continued to remain quiet and still. The agents had inched forward and I tracked the shadows of wolves that stalked between them. I could hear their breathing and prayed the fungus and the smell of other animals in the forest would cover my own scent. Patiently they waited for any movement in the shadows, but I was good at this game; I’d played it a lot when I was a young girl. I’d survived by becoming invisible. So, I kept utterly still, ignoring the numbness in all four of my limbs. I knew if I moved, the pain from a surge of circulation would cripple me.

A sniff came from nearby, followed by a low throaty growl.

Damn it!Go away, go away. There was no way I could run, not now, my legs were useless.

The faint crackle of a radio reached my ears. Holding my breath, I watched the silhouette of a large wolf move past about ten feet away. He loped up to the shadow of a man who squatted beneath a pine tree.

“Yes, sir. Director says move out!” The shadow yelled into the darkness.

I released a slow breath, my head spinning. They started to walk away, making far more noise than necessary, so I used the commotion as cover and shook out my limbs. I gritted my teeth against the onslaught of pins and needles, then got back to making myself invisible.

I’d also played this game before. Evil liked to try and lure its victims in. If I stayed low and melted into the shadows, evil wouldn’t even notice me.

The hollowness in my soul became a chasm. I lay there, empty and just waiting for daybreak. Finally the sun rose, warming the damp forest floor. My stomach growled, and my throat was so raw I could barely swallow. The sun scorched me. Panting away the heat from my body, I prayed for the patience of my enemies to run out before my body gave out from dehydration.

Sometime in the afternoon I heard distant voices. Shouts and yells. My eyes burned, and my body shook. There was another round of twigs cracking and the snap of bones; wolves shifting back into men. “Do one more quick sweep!” ordered a voice. But it was clear their enthusiasm had waned.

There were many fallen trees near mine. This was just another unremarkable one. I sent a silent prayer of thanks to anyone listening. Not only did this fungi leave a horrid stench, the wolves and men had left their scents all over the forest, hiding mine. No shifter would know my scent among these, especially if these agents weren’t a pack and had no loyalty to or knowledge of each other.

The noise of the search eventually faded. Engines roared to life and then disappeared into the distance. I crawled out. Too weak to shift, and with no clothes to wear, I stayed in my wolf form. My internal fire flared, sensing the danger my body was in. Warmth eased along my bones, just enough to give me the strength to run. My gait was faltering and clumsy at first, but sticking to the shadows I was soon running with desperation and a heaviness in my soul that I knew would never leave me.

Rawson had been right. I could do nothing against Doherty and the agency. I was too weak and too alone. I had to let them go. My stomach churned and my chest ached, but I wouldn’t allow such crippling guilt to paralyse me—not yet.

* * *

A low menacinggrowl was the only warning before a dark shadow leapt at me. I couldn’t tell what it was, but its solid bulk hit me from the side and sent me sprawling. A female wolf, with ice white fur and deep amber eyes circled me. Even in this dire situation I gasped at how beautiful she was; a dangerous and stunning creature. Those eyes settled on me and gleamed with predatory intent. She snarled—a challenge. My answering snarl wasn’t as intimidating. My body was depleted of fluid and nutrients, and my limbs shook, but there was no way I was going down without a fight. Without hesitation, I attacked. In a nimble move she jumped sideways and her jaws clamped around my neck.

Her teeth cut into my flesh, pain lancing my throat. I thrashed and snapped my jaws, but the other wolf’s teeth clamped down harder. Warmth saturated my fur. An artery. No matter how much I wanted to fight, my limbs became heavy. Blood poured from me. I was dying. The wolf shook me, deepening my wounds. My vision blurred until all I could see was the redness of my blood staining her white fur. Fire stirred, sensing my end was too near to stop it. She soothed me and held me in her fiery embrace as my wolf’s heart ceased to beat. Within moments I was nothing but an ethereal form, standing and looking down at the body of my beautiful wolf. She was limp, lying flat on the ground, her fur stained bright red and her body in a pool of congealing dark blood.

It was one of the hardest things I’d ever done, to allow my beautiful wolf to be chewed apart by another. I wanted to scream and shout, but for me to be safe, my wolf had to end.

Something brushed against my leg. When I looked down, there was the spirit of my beautiful wolf, staring up at me. She licked my hand before she began to fade away.

Thank you for being with me. Go to the Mother Wolf now. I’ll pray to her for your rebirth. Tears blurred my vision as she faded away.

Soon my attacker’s gruesome task was complete. My wolf’s head fell free of her body. The white wolf receded leaving a human woman in her place. Pressing my lips into a tight line, I latched onto the spirit of the white wolf, and pulled. I’d done this once before, but unlike last time, I was not a child and I would not permit this human to live.

I ripped her wolf away. The woman doubled over and screamed. I opened my soul and welcomed the beautiful white wolf in. Once she was mine, flames surged from my hands. Without remorse, I burned the screaming woman until there was nothing left but ash.

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