Page 4 of Ruin

I kept my mouth shut but gripped Alex’s arm tighter. It was nice to know we were on the same page, even if we both knew Connor might already be dead.

Chapter 2

Connor

Shivers racked my body.I hugged my knees tighter as tears burned behind my eyes. Having the ability to tense my muscles was both a miracle and a curse. Berith was one sick motherfucker. He’d give me the use of my body, only to rip it from me whenever he felt like it. He’d broken my neck three times since I’d become his prisoner. The last time was a haze. Whether my brain, or the dark creature that clung to my soul had blocked it out, or I’d genuinely been too out of it to comprehend what was happening, was debatable. The pain though? That stayed with me.

A rocking motion began to make me feel nauseous. Yeah, I found I did this a lot lately. Rocking back and forth, sitting on my boney arse while praying for this nightmare to end.

I had no idea how long I’d been stuck in this cycle of depraved living and dying. That moment when Ember had been ripped away from me was vivid, the shit storm of pain since then, not so much. I blocked it out, not willing to give my brain the chance to reduce me to useless tears and hopelessness. Berith had said he would make me suffer for an eternity. I swallowed, not sure if he meant here or in Hell, but I did know he meant it.

My heart pounded at the sound of a door slamming in the distance and I gripped my lower legs tighter, laying my cheek on my knees and straining my ears as I shuddered uncontrollably. I was no longer a Prime, no longer even a shifter. I was completely and utterly human...and very breakable. My emaciated body started to tremble harder, and I had no say in it. Stopping it was impossible when I was so weak. Food was provided, usually a husk of bread or dry crackers, or something disgusting and unidentifiable, along with water to drink. It was enough to keep me alive, but slowly starving. And may the Mother Wolf damn me for accepting it, but I didn’t want to die. I wanted to find a way back to my Firecracker. So I took whatever was offered and forced it down my throat, no matter how disgusting or rotten it was. My large frame was nothing but skin and bone, now, but I’d be damned if I’d give up. My Firecracker,my mate, was out there, somewhere, and I’d find a way back to her. Somehow.

I listened to the screams and roars that were muffled by the metal door and the thick stone walls of my prison. Those terrible sounds were constant and a sign that I wasn’t the only one being kept here. I wondered who else was unfortunate enough to have Berith as their new cell buddy. I looked down at my bloodied hands and thin legs. My gaolers didn’t even bother with shackles any more. I was too human and too weak to escape, and that was the horribly pathetic truth. Outside this prison was miles of forest. Even if a miracle happened and I got out, I’d die in that wilderness. I could only hope Owen had gotten the rest of my brothers away from here, that they weren’t the ones being tortured. I searched for any connection to them, but my wolf was gone. And the piece of me that could connect with the alpha wolves, the ones who had pledged their allegiance, had gone with him.

I suspected Ember had taken Prime from me. She’d told me how she had taken the wolf of her previous murderer. It was why she still housed a wolf spirit when Doherty had sent his team to kill her. When he’d slammed the head of her first wolf in front of me, I’d thought she was dead.

The loss of Prime left an empty hole in my chest, but that would never change the way I felt about her. I lifted my head and straightened my spine. Maybe Zander would find a way to help me out of this personal fucking hell and back to her before Berith’s darkness consumed me. If not, I would do it myself. I hadn’t seen anything of Zander, though, and wondered if he was dead, or if he’d just run. It didn’t matter. My body might be ruined, but my soul still belonged to her. I’d find a way back to her—somehow.

I unwound my hands from my knees and slowly rubbed my eyes. They didn’t bother with lights in the cell. Unless, of course, they wanted to torture me by leaving them on, night after night, to burn my eyes while Berith commanded my eyelids to stay open. I blinked and forced away thoughts of what my next session of torture would hold. Sometimes it was twisted nightmares of my past, others it was physical torture and pain, until I couldn’t take any more and I shut down and passed out; only for that demon fucker to bring me back. Yeah, and in the torturous virtual reality that Berith created in my head, my bastard father always played a starring role. Just like my real life had been with him, these nightmares were full of beatings and verbal lashings of never being strong enough, or fast enough, or vicious enough; only in Berith’s version, my father always found new and interesting ways of hurting me, which is saying something; my father was one sick son-of-a-bitch. When Berith decided he’d tortured me enough, he’d put the pieces of my mortal flesh and bones back together, leaving me some injuries as a present. Sometimes I was still paralysed when I woke up, not able to eat or drink. The only thing my body was capable of was blinking, shitting and pissing all over myself. Even if I died in the aftermath, that fucker would resurrect me.

I shuddered and rocked, my feet numb with cold. Berith had taken great pleasure in telling me how he’d resurrected my brothers. Reed’s and Dagnar’s souls were stuck inside the monstrous werewolves Berith had commanded them to become before they were killed in the fight rings. There had been no gentle passing of their wolf spirits to the Mother Wolf to be reborn. Instead, every shifter that had died in Berith’s vicious games had had their human and shifter souls imprisoned, their bodies stuck as Werewolves ready to host a demon and become a soldier in Satan’s army.

I swallowed the bile in my throat, hoping that once I found my brothers, I could find a way to bring them back. Hugging my knees again, I dug my filthy, jagged fingernails into the skin of my forearms. Pain zipped down to my elbows. At least that told me this wasn’t a dream. Not this time.

I heard another scream. A moment later, a faint tingle of power brushed my skin. This time a single tear slipped from my right eye. I wasn’t a pussy, my tears weren’t for my broken and starved body or my empty heart, they were for the part of my soul that had belonged to my wolf. That mild brush of power meant Berith was still torturing my kind. I had been their Prime, the top of the power tree and the one who was supposed to have protected them—and I failed. I missed my wolf every waking moment. In the darkness, as I lay waiting for my turn to scream, I searched for his spirit. My only comfort was that my Firecracker would take care of him; at least of that I was certain.

I released my legs, tipped back my head and let out a roar, emptying my grief into the darkness. Or it would have been a roar if I hadn’t been so weak. Now it sounded more like a pathetic cry for help. I dropped my forehead back down on my knees, my body shaking from that one sad action. I’d rest for a moment, then I’d check the door for weaknesses—again.

* * *

“Shh,it’s alright, Connor. I’m going to get you out of here.”

“Ember?” I swallowed against my painfully dry throat and tried to turn my head. Thankfully it moved, which was a fucking miracle. I’d been convinced Berith was going to break my spine again. He usually started with the lower part of my body and broke me in segments as his minions cheered him on. This time, I’d been dragged to that ridiculously out of place plush room he used and thrown at his feet in front of the ugly assed fireplace that dominated the room.

Nothing else had been different, though. He’d gone into a place in my mind that he seemed to be obsessed with. The first time I’d comforted Ember after she’d lost control of her fire. Her flames hadn’t burned me and even as a teenager I’d known then that we were potential mates.

The room was dark apart from the fire which burned beside me, sending shadows dancing around the walls. I blinked. Each shadow took form as a grotesque werewolf.

Cool hands brushed my sweat soaked hair back from my face. Slowly, with my heart pounding, I peered up into the face of my beloved Firecracker. Uncontrollable shivering racked my body. I wanted to reach out, to touch her, but I’d fallen into that trap too many times to count. I jerked away from her touch.

“Connor? It’s me, your Firecracker. Let us help you.”

Another figure stepped from the shadows, his eyes glowing brighter than the fire. “Zander? You came back for me?” I squeezed my eyes shut. Berith had never used Zander before. Hope sparked in my chest. Fuck, maybe thiswasreal. My gaze flew back to Ember’s beautiful green eyes. My heart flipped and tears came unbidden, falling down my cheeks. I forced my weak arm to lift so that I could touch her face. “Firecracker? Oh, Mother Wolf, I—how?”

“Hush now. Zander, come on. Help me get him up.” She beckoned the big guard who had become my partner in the fucked up world of Berith’s prison.

Zander strode over, his shoulders as wide as ever. Together they heaved me up and leaned me against the soft cushions of the huge sofa.

Ember kneeled next to me and leaned in placing a gentle kiss against my lips. I frowned, her lips were cold, they’d always been so warm. My gaze flicked to the fire. Why wasn’t she warm when the flames scorched my skin? Worry for her had me trying to push myself up.

“Just lay still, Connor.” She smiled and turned to Zander. “And watch.”

Watch? Watch what? Zander stepped up to her and slipped his arm around her waist, yanking her up and in close enough to him that her hips were moulded against his.

“What are you doing?” My voice was no more than a whisper, but the nausea that overtook me was intense.

“Saving you. I’m letting you go, Connor. You are just a weak shell of what you once were. You cannot protect me.” Ember laughed coldly. “Damn, look at you. You can’t even protectyourself. So I think it best if you stay here and I will fight this war without you.” Her hand lifted and brushed Zander's square jaw. I honestly didn’t think I had any heart left to shatter, but the pain I felt as she leaned in and took Zander’s mouth told me otherwise. It destroyed me.Zander and my Firecracker?I stared on in horror as she unbuttoned his shirt and trailed that beautiful mouth down his torso, shaking my head as her slender fingers unbuckled his belt. “No. No. We were becomingfriends, Zander! This is all wrong! I won’t watch this.” But there was no choice. My eyelids were forced open.

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