Page 17 of Tough Love

“Nonexistent?”

I make my way to the truck and grab my tools—strainers and pliers. I turn back, and she is inches from me. “Sorry, I thought you might need me to carry something.”

She’s too close. Something like the scent of apples catches my attention. Her shampoo. The vanilla and spice of her skin. I force my focus to stay on her face and not drop to where her shirt hugs the swells of her perfect fucking chest. That is now rising and falling faster than it was a moment ago.

Putting space between us, I hand her the pliers. She takes them and turns back to the fence. I drag in a lungful of air, willing my body to calm the fuck down, and walk to the fence line to apply the strainers. Reed and I built the fence, but it has been a week, and it needs one last tightening before we leave it to the gods and the wandering cattle. Addy appears, pliers in hand. “Tell me what you want me to do.”

She studies the strainers, glancing to the mountains every so often. I snap the wire into the feeder and pull back the lever. “Here, crank this as tight as you can make it.”

Sliding the pliers into her back pocket, she takes over the lever, her hand brushing mine. She tugs at it, and her face twists with annoyance.

“Harder,” I offer.

She puts more effort into it, getting through a few cranks.

“Sorry, that’s as tight as I can go.”

I take the lever from her hand and pump it over a few more times with one hand. Her gaze drops to my cranking arm, traveling to my bicep. And she stills. As if something occurred to her. Something shocking. She turns and wanders toward the path of trees a little further down the fence line.

“Four more wires to go yet, Howard. Don’t slack on me now.”

She glances over her shoulder, giving me a small, meek smile. What’s that all about?

I fix the wire and release the strainers. Dropping them to the ground, I follow her to the trees. She leans against one, her eyes closed, arms folded. Her t-shirt has risen up, a sliver of her tummy exposed. When I am close enough that my shadow covers her, she opens her eyes. I hold out a hand, and she frowns, tilting her head.

“Pliers,” I grunt.

She holds my stare for a moment and pushes off the tree, closing the space between us. And once again I am enveloped by her vanilla and spice. I stifle the groan that wants to rattle up my throat at being this close to her. And she unfolds her arms, passing the pliers. “You don’t really need my help, Hudson. I can barely operate that contraption.”

I can’t help the smile that blooms over my face when she says my name. “You helped. A little.”

“You don’t have to be nice to me. It doesn’t suit you.” She pushes past me and walks back to the truck.

What the hell?

To be fair, I haven’t exactly rolled out the welcome mat. I guess the way I feel really is one-sided. That should make me happy. But my gut sinks like a stone.It’s better this way.I repeat the phrase all the way back to the truck. After straining the last four wires like a man on a mission, I toss the tools into the back of the tray and jump into the truck.

Addy stares out the window, lost in thought. I want to ask her if she’s okay. How the hell I managed to dampen her sunshine. But when she doesn’t take her attention from the mountains as I start the truck, I shift it into gear and head home.

Reed is unsaddling Magnet when we make it back to the barn. Addy chats away to him, bright and bubbly as usual. That gets under my skin more than it should. I find Charlie and head for the gelding paddock. Addy will meet Sergeant today, my first horse after Silver. He is old, experienced, and the calmest with unsure riders. He will take good care of her. And once again I am brought back to wondering what happened to her to make her stop riding altogether.

The way her eyes lit up when I was working the colt tells me everything. Horses are part of her. It must have been something terrible to keep her away from them all this time.

When I have Sergeant saddled, I walk him to where Reed is entertaining Addy with his dramatic retelling of something he has done. She laughs and asks questions. They get along well. I grind my teeth to stop myself from telling Reed off, to go find another chore and leave her be. But she turns when she hears us coming and her mouth gapes.

“Have fun, Addy,” Reed offers and walks to the homestead. She glances at his retreating back for a moment before turning to face Sergeant and me. The bay gelding rubs his face on my back, pushing me forward. She huffs a small laugh, but her face falls.

She’s scared.

Fuck.

“Dr. Howard, meet Sergeant. The oldest gentleman on the ranch.”

She takes a tentative step forward. She wasn’t like this with any of the other horses. Maybe it’s because she thinks I expect her to ride this one that’s making the difference. Making her nervous.

“It’s alright, he knows how to take care of his riders. You will be more than safe.”

“Uh-huh.”

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