Page 129 of Heart & Hope

After a week recovering in Lewistown and a red-eye back to the city, I have two days to recover before I go in to meet with Olive. To find out if I still have a job. With all that’s happened, do I even want it anymore?

One thing I do know, losing my rules, spending time with the Rawlinses... I don’t see life the way I used to. I dump my bags by the door and pad to the kitchen. The space is so clean, so void of living, it’s like a hotel, not my home.

My phone pings.

Addy.

Hey Rubes, make it back to NY alright?

And Lou.

Let me know when you make it back, hon.

New York, back. Nothome. Even Addy’s siding with Montana.

I huff out a laugh—of course she is. Who wouldn’t? We think living happens here in the city. But it’s more like the skeleton of survival, not the flesh and blood of life that sees your heart pumping and pulls laughter through your lips. That lets love bloom from somewhere deep you didn’t even realize existed in your soul.

Fuck me, I’m a Hallmark card now.

Sweet Jesus.

My breath catches at the automaticity and ease of the saying the Rawlins men use.

I wander aimlessly around the small apartment for an hour, touching the things I thought I valued. Picking up frames without photos, still the happy stock photo families from the factory nestled behind the glass. The one plant I own is sporting a generous amount of dust on its plastic green leaves. And when I reach my bedroom, I flop onto the bed. The crystal chandelier that hangs over the bed glitters.

I tap a message back to Addy so she doesn’t worry. But I find myself scrolling through the back-and-forth texts between Reed and me. I come across a photo of him and I, beaming as we sit by the fire, me on his lap, huddled against him. Addy took this one and sent it to Reed. He sent it to me later that night, with a text: “R & R—the only thing I will ever need, baby.”

God, he looks so happy.

Welook so happy.

I chug sobs, letting the phone fall onto the bed. Every breathy cry that tumbles from my lips takes a little of the worry and sadness that I have been carrying around my entire life. I roll over and scream the last of the tension and anger into my pillow.

Five minutes.

You have five minutes, Ruby Robbins, to let it out, suck it up, and start fixing this clusterfuck.

Now is the time for the soul-searching sliver that lies dormant in me to bubble to the surface. Because there are a few things in this life that are more important than best-laid plans.

Olive is livid. I mean, who can blame her? Not me. I screwed up, and I’m at peace with that now. I may or may not have a job at the end of this meeting. And for the first time in my life, I’m okay with that.

“How did this happen, Ruby?” she snaps, leaning over her desk, finger pointing at the tablet in front of her. The screen has a photo of the inn, Mary-Sue standing out front with none other than Justin fucking Morley. “I have multiple emails from the Heritage Inn owners claiming the events were amazing, but they will not be working with us because of your deceit.”

“She assumed I was married. And you told me to fix it, so I did.”

She leans back in her chair and taps her pale pink manicured nails on the desk. “I did not tell you to lie to an entire town, to use your position to have some sordid affair with a stranger.”

The heat of shame turns to a fire of anger. What the actual fuck?

“There is nothingsordidabout Reed Rawlins and me. And yes, I asked him to attend the events as my husband. But that was all to appease a pedantic client with values so outdated they should have left with the Ark!” I throw my hands up.

“So you thought it appropriate to lie to the very people who were building your career, allowing you to spend their budget and influence their peers and friends.”

My mouth gapes. She is blowing this way out of proportion.

“What the hell, Olive? You told me to fix the problem. I did, at least until the last minute, when everything turned to shit.”

“I’m sorry, Ruby, we can’t have dishonest staff in this company. Our integrity is our major strength, and I will not weaken it with your scandals. No matter how far removed from our upmarket clientele.”

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