Page 24 of Heart & Hope

But she’s not mine. And I’m not hers. And the best it’s going to get for us is a fake deal that only lasts a week or so.

I am a thousand percent not okay with that.

Right then and there, beside the most amazing, talented, sweet, beautiful girl in the world, I make a promise to myself. I will give this, whatever it is between us, every fucking thing I got. And more.

When the meal is done, people stay sitting to chat and drink their fill of the alcohol that Pa brought in. Hudson and Addy disappear as I’m stuck talking to one of the neighbors. Ruby whips around, checking on things, ushering people outside. Andwhen I drain the last of the suds from my beer bottle, a loud whistle followed by a crack explodes over the sky.

Gasps and oohs come from the crowd gathered in the yard. A dazed smile cracks slow over my face. Warmth presses into my side. I tilt my head down to find her brown eyes staring up at me. Elated.

“This part is kind of for you,” she whispers, pushing up onto her tiptoes.

Fireworks.

She took that and ran with it. The little boy in me right now is overwhelmed, in the best way possible. When she lifts her gaze back up to the sky, now popping with every color of the rainbow, I wrap an arm around her and pull her into my arms. “Thank you, baby.”

“Anything for my fake husband, Reedsy.”

She pats my chest and untangles herself from my hold. The second she’s left arms, my gut plummets. All I can do is stare at her back as the girl of my dreams walks away from me.

Indifferent.

Mack is silent beside me. It’s been two months since Ma’s party. Addy and Hudson have kissed and made up after a whole debacle over him not wanting to tie her down. Her not wanting to break his heart. Good Lord, those two are hard work. But it turned out okay in the end.

Thanks to Ruby’s help.

We have had constant contact via text since she left. Work is riding her ass about coming back for prep at the inn over inGreat Falls. And if I’m honest, it has been a long fucking few months.

Right now, I stare at the dotted line on the bunch of papers in front of me. My own ranch. All I gotta do is sign my life away. And that is exactly what it feels like I’m doing. It’s stupid not knowing what you want at my age. But I don’t. At least I know what I don’t want. And that is to end up like my old man. Tied to the land and the animals it supports. That’s Huddo’s dream, not mine.

“You need me to read it to you, little bro?” Mack quips.

“Shut up.”

“This is only the beginning, my boy; it’s not the only thing in life, but it’s a start for you. A foundation to build from,” Ma says. I glance at her. A kind smile lights her face. Pa sits, arms crossed, staring me down, as if that’s going to make me sign faster.

Ruby’s determination and focus when she’s working slides into my mind. I want that, too. Something I can sink my teeth into. I pluck the pen from the table and scratch out my signature.

Done.

My stomach roils.

Mack takes the pen from my hand, signing his life away to a ranch similar to the one I have just landed, ten miles down the road from mine. At least he will be close by. When all the paperwork is finalized, we head over to the new ranch. I hop into my truck, and Mack piles in after I fire her up. Nickelback screams at me the second the music comes on.

For a moment, I think maybe I can do this.

I mean, I should be grateful. I’m being handed the best start a country man could ever ask for. I know Harry has a plan; he always does. But I’m not supposed to feel like a pawn, a piece of the puzzle that is my old man’s larger vision. He’s a fantastic businessman and reads people like nothin’ else. Wish I wasn’t part of it sometimes.

I turn the truck onto the dirt road and head north, hands gripping the steering wheel.

Mack turns the music down. “What’s eatin’ you, bro?”

“Nothin’,” I say, a little too fast.

“Yeah, right. Spit it out, gunny.”

I meet his gaze. His military-short hair is dark, his blue eyes like Huddo’s are scanning me now.Don’t look too hard, Mack, you’ll discover all the shit I never let anyone else find.Like the fact that most days not knowing who I am and what I want gives me anxiety so bad, I have to force myself from my room. That I use alcohol and loose women to soothe my deep and utter self-loathing.

The infamous Great Reed Rawlins.

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