Page 75 of Heart & Hope

Ruby Robbins, the only girl I’ve ever wanted with my heart and soul. And the one I can’t fucking have.

That almost wrenches my heart from my chest.

She is doing so much for me and I?—

What if I can’t make this resort ranch thing work?

Hell . . .

I move my hands to her hips as the inkling of prickling heat crawls through my veins and my breaths shallow out. I tense up on the seat, my grip on her hips too tight. She gasps.

I try to breathe past the stone in my throat with each burning, shallow breath. My fingers tingle.

No, fuck.

Heartbreak cracks me right in two, stealing the last of the air in my lungs.

I gasp for breath.

“No, no, no, no...” Ruby whispers frantically, hands on my face. Her face blurs, right in front of me. “Reed, breathe.”

The door to the cab swings open, her foot propping it wider. Cool air floods in. Ruby’s thumbs run over my cheeks, palms pressed into my jaw. “You’re okay. You’re okay, please. Breathe, you have to—” Her head hangs. “Please be okay.”

Sobs tumble into my now shallowly rising shoulders as she moves a little, hands gripping my shirt. The sound of her in tearsis a slap to the face. I straighten, angry at myself for making her upset. For causing her anything but happiness.

“Ruby,” I rasp. “Baby, I’m alright.” I fight with the tightened muscles in my torso, forcing air into my lungs. She chugs a sob, and the last of my reserve splinters. Tears burning the back of my eyes, I hunt for her face through her hair with both hands, desperate to find her brown eyes.

“Beautiful, look at me, please.” When she finally pushes up, and I snag her gaze, her face is broken. “I’m sorry, Rubes.”

She shakes her head. “No.” Her hands tremble as she wipes away moisture from my cheeks. Shit, I didn’t realize it was there. I swallow hard, and she kisses my lips, tender and loving like the beginning of something else entirely.

“How can I ever leave you here? What kind of friend does that?” she sobs.

“You have to, baby. You have a life to lead.”

She stares at me, flattening the wobble that threatens to steal her composure, before standing and picking up her hat. When she’s safely down the tractor and out of the barn, I scrub my hands down my face.

Life is utter bullshit.

Ruby dances around the kitchen, prepping a tray of food for us to eat by the fire in the backyard. It’s something else, the way she fits here. Her music is loud and fast, white headphones sitting over her head as she munches on a celery stick.

I am so not eatin’ that.

I draw the line at carrots.

I take the plate of meats to cook on the grill out back and pad through the back door. The backyard is small, but intimate. A fire pit sits in the center with four white Adirondack chairs bordering it. Ruby found some old-fashioned lanterns in town and has them lit up and dotted about the garden along with copious amounts of fairy lights. It’s amazing. And so Ruby.

An hour later, the meat hisses on the heat and the smoke billows into the cool night air. Addy and Huddo are coming over. It’s been an age since we saw them. And things have been so busy with the ranch and planning the holiday experience aspects, time got away from us.

The back door snaps open, and I find Ruby leaning on the doorframe, tray in one hand, a glass of wine in the other. She’s dressed up a little now. Tight, dark jeans and a boatneck top that looks like it was made for wearin’ on a fancy yacht in international waters, not middle-of-nowhere Montana. Her face is done up with a touch of makeup. Her hair ironed, I think that’s what they call it. It’s dead straight, anyhow.

“Hungry?” She shoves the food under my nose as chatter comes from inside the house.

“Can I eat you instead?” I ask, looking from the tray up to her.

“Save it ’til we’re gone, Reed,” Huddo quips, striding through the open door, a bottle of whiskey in one hand, rolled up papers in the other.

Fuck.

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