Page 55 of So I Know it's Real

Clover

Torn

“Clover, I know you love a thrifted piece, but we can’t play with my niece or nephew like that.”

I rolled my eyes at Karlie. “Hush! I would never do that. Durk would kill me.”

Her head snapped in my direction. “Oh. So, it’s safe to say his name now?”

“Don’t do that, friend. I haven’t beenthatbad.”

“You’ve been...a grump over the last two weeks. I understood why, so I don’t judge you.”

I knew Karlie was being honest, still it made me sad to hear. At this stage in my life, I should’ve been happy. I was supposed to be bathing in pregnancy bliss, but I moped around a boutique, snarling at ugly baby clothes.

“Karlie, let’s go to the next store.”

She groaned as she combed her bangs off her forehead. “Clover, there is no nextstore. This is the last store in the mall that sells baby clothes. Durk sent me money to take you baby shopping. Pick something. Anything!”

I lifted my salty snack. “I bought a pretzel.”

“Girl. You know what I’m saying. This shopping trip was supposed to be a way to lift your spirits.”

“We may need to try again tomorrow.” I dragged myself outside the store and settled on a bench in the middle of the mall. I knew Karlie’s heart was in the right place, but my mood was not. I passed my first trimester two weeks ago and shopping was the furthest thing from my mind.

“Friend, talk to me. Holding it in won’t help you get over it.”

“I know.” I whined as tears crowded my vision.

“Aww, friend!” Karlie hummed and guided my head onto her shoulder. “Don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s Durk’s. I feel so conflicted, Karlie. I don’t want to do this without him, but I don’t want to be played. Again. He doesn’t realize trying to buy me only makes it worse.”

“That makes sense, but I think he’s trying to remind you that you’re not in this pregnancy alone.” She sighed. “And he didn’t send me the money. He gave it to Essen, and she transferred it to me. She thought it was more appropriate for me to be the middleman.”

I cringed, recalling the distance Durk’s mess put between me and my new group of friends. Although I enjoyed their company, I stayed out of the way since I was on edge. I wasn’t sure how authentic any relationship tied to Durk truly was, and I didn’t want to disrespect anyone by pointing fingers.

“I’m so happy all the comments on Instagram have died down,” I professed as the thought came to mind. “I can’t believe someone posted the voice memo after they sent it to me.”

“I’m happy you brought that up. Have you figured out who sent you the message in the first place? It was probably Barbara’s ass. You know, everybody was talking about how Durk showed up to Bible study and flipped shit upside down.”

I shook my head. “That’s part of the problem. Every time I talk to Durk, he apologizes, but he also places blame on someoneelse. He’s searching for whoever sent the message instead of taking accountability for what he did. Ugh! There were so many red flags I missed!”

“That’s not fair. It hasn’t been all bad.”

I cut my eyes at the lover girl. “Did you forget he went off on me after we ran into his enemies?”

“No, I remember. I also remember how Durk protected you and your tribe, although he was questioning your intentions.”

“All right. What about him lying about sleeping with Barbara?”

“What about you forgetting to tell him your baby daddy was a Blood? I know you knew it was a problem, girl.”

I scoffed. “What do you say about him betting on me?”

“Oh, no. He fucked up when he did that!” she exclaimed. “Then I think about how happy you were about gettingjust becauseflowers. I remember the way you blushed on FaceTime before he took you to meet his family. I don’t even need to get into the pictures of y’all in Ventress. The love between you two was obvious. I don’t think there’s anything phony about that.”

Dresseddown in a pair of sweatpants and a graphic tee that crawled up my belly, I posed in the bathroom mirror and snapped a few pictures. My three-day-old press and curl was messy, and my lashes needed a fill, but I basked in my pregnancy glow. I was two-weeks from my fourth month, and from experience, I knew it would be over in a blink of an eye.

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