Page 52 of So I Know it's Real

I nodded as I inspected the picture, making a note of every detail. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Clover reach for the doorknob. As fast as I could, I sped behind her and reached over her head and shut the door.

“Don’t run from me, Clover. I know you’re not feeling me, but talk to me. I want to know how you feel about the changes we’re about to experience.”

“I don’t really want to talk about my feelings right now, Durk. Just know I know my baby is a blessing. By the way, I’ll pass on the concert.” She shoved me back with her round cheeks and walked out the door.

“What the fuck? I already brought the tickets!” I called after her.

“Call Barbara! I’m sure she would love to go.”

I had to restrain myself from snatching her into a bear hug and begging Clover not to leave. She looked exhausted, and I didn’t want to add to the weight on her shoulders, especially when there was something else I had to tell her that may hurt heavier.

The church’sparking lot was full for a Wednesday, so I parked in a spot reserved for a church official. I didn’t have plansto be here long. Plus, the priority parking was perfect in case I needed to smash off.

Ishmael grunted in my passenger seat after I turned the car off. “Durk, what the hell are we doing at Mama Jo’s church? We’re supposed to be going to the clubhouse.”

“In a minute. I need to have a conversation with Barbara really quick.”

“Man, you’re going to hell for bringing this messy shit to the church.”

“Right now, I don’t give a fuck. Clover swears this lady didn’t open her mouth, but I don’t believe that shit. I told that old hag if she didn’t keep my name out of her mouth, I was going to create a problem. She should’ve listened.”

As soon as I was out of my truck, my legs swallowed the space between the parking lot and the church entrance. I followed the sound of praise and worship and ended up in the sanctuary. Most of the church folks sat on the first two pews, but me and Ishmael got comfortable in the back.

“If you show your ass, I’m calling your granny,” Ishmael whispered loud enough for me to hear.

“Luckily for you, I think they’re wrapping up.”

The pastor asked if anyone needed to be added to the prayer list, so I used the opportunity to garner attention. I slipped a toothpick from my mouth as I vacated my seat.

Pastor Williams smiled when we made eye contact. “All right now. I like to see a young man ask for what he needs. Go on and tell us what battle you’re putting in God’s hands.”

“First, I want to give honor to God…the people on the pulpit.”

“Amen.”

“Next, I want y’all to pray for my conflicted heart. I’ve been sleeping with Barbara Floyd, and I don’t know how I want to handle her jealousy. I don’t know if I should kill her or kill someone close to her.”

The congregation gossiped among themselves, and I heard Ishmael curse my name, yet I stood firm. Out of line or not, I felt no shame from my actions. Barbara accused me of being a clown, and now, her ass knew I was really the ringleader.

Barbara’s husband grimaced at her before he issued me the same menacing stare. “Boy, you’ve lost your mind coming in here with this mess. My wife would never let a thug like you climb on top of her.”

“You’re right.” I nodded. “Barbara liked for me to climb on top of her. Since she thought it was necessary to tell my lady, I think her man should know, too.”

Ishmael jumped from his seat and shoved me toward the door while repeating, “It’s time to go.”

“Man, I don’t want to hear that shit!” I yelled as I stepped outside. “People always say they’ll confront their enemies anywhere, but I really mean that shit. She’s the reason Clover isn’t fucking with me.”

“Nah. That’s not the reason.”

I spun around, ready to press the nosy commentator, but I recognized he was Clover’s father. He rested against the front gate of the church, smoking a cigarette and playing oldies on his phone. We exchanged a few words on Fellowship Day, but we hadn’t spoken since.

“My bad, O.G. I didn’t mean any disrespect.”

“You don’t need to apologize. Barbara is a petty bitch that needed to be called out.” He chuckled, easing the tightness in my chest. “If you’re man enough to call her out, take responsibility for the position you played in the mess. You should’ve been honest with Clover when she asked about your past.”

Though he was right, I still stood there stone-faced. I fucked up once, and Clover had tossed me back to the wolves like I had never been good to her. I knew she would be upset, but I didn’tthink her disappointment would create distance that lasted nearly a week.

“My daughter’s admiration for you runs deep. You were the first man she didn’t dismiss for blinking wrong, and then you go and mess up. I had plans to kick your tall ass when I saw you, but I can see you’re already hurting,” he declared before he dapped me up and walked back into the church.

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