Page 101 of Hard to Judge

Hailey stands in the doorway. I just glance at her in the big white blouse and imagine her belly swollen and stretching the shirt. It’s too much. I let my head hang.

“What just happened?” She pushes into the room, coming too close for anyone’s good.

“Had to pee.” I choke.

“You’re a terrible liar.” She slides her bare ass onto the counter. Her legs dangle off. “I’m a terrible liar too.” She shrugs. “I guess it’s a good thing.”

“You guys can have the guest room.” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from sobbing. “Whatever you need.”

“What if we need you?” Hailey asks.

The snort that comes out of me is uncouth at best.

“Hey.” She soothes. “Look at me, please.”

I pin her with an ugly glare. I hate myself for it. “Are you pregnant?”

Her mouth falls open.

My heart stops.

The green of her eyes flits around the room, calculating. What she’s working out, I don’t know, and it makes my stomach lurch. Then her gaze is on me. Her mouth snaps closed. “He’s not building a nursery, Hota. I’m not pregnant. I have an IUD. Have had, since they came on the market, so I don’t have a period.”

She lays a hand on my shoulder gently like I might spook.

“I suppose I could have it removed one day when the time is right.” Her thumb caresses me. “Since blood doesn’t scare me anymore. Thanks to you.”

Arlo shoves into the room. Pants hanging low on his waist. “Dobson bought Nat’s place, and Hailey’s entire condo has become a large closet for all of Nat’s clothes until she can sell them or move them to France. Do you not want us to stay with you?”

He stops right next to me, naked me, and Hailey, like we do this sort of half-clothed hanging out thing all the time.

“It’s not that,” I whisper.

It could never be that.

“What’s wrong?” Arlo puts his hand on my nape and pulls me upright and to him.

I wrap my arms around him and fucking sob.

Once they’re here, I’ll never want them to leave.

Once they leave, what will be left of me?

“No more questions,” Astor says, holding up her hand in the elevator of my building, or what used to be my building. “Spill it.”

I haven’t been here in weeks. Most of my things are at Arlo’s house, including my evening wear.

No. Our house.

Warmth suffuses my chest.

“You’ll love this dress.” I beam, hedging her once again. “Nat wore it on the catwalk in Paris Fashion Week twenty years ago. The thing still looks brand new.”

“As does your aunt.” Astor crosses her arms. “We couldn’t talk at the dinner because of my dad.”

“He’s looking so hot, by the way.” I grin and hop off the elevator the moment the doors open.

“Don’t start.” Her pretty amber eyes roll. “As I recall, you have enough D in your life.”

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