Page 111 of Hard to Judge

“Thank you, Sana. I’ll be out shortly.”

“Yes, sir,” my pilot says before retreating.

I access the clock and find they’re early, which is a good sign. It’s also inconvenient. I was hoping for a breakthrough in the next ten minutes.

“Don’t rush the process, Mr. Judge.” My therapist steeples his fingers on his thick oak desk. “These things take time. Especially when they’ve been repressed for so long.”

Gee. Thanks. For nothing.

“That’s not what I want to hear.” I grind my molars.

“You don’t pay me to tell you what you want to hear but what you need to hear.” I pull the horn-rimmed glasses from my face. “Trust the process.”

I nod. “I have to go.”

“I’ll see you Monday in the office.”

Again, I nod and end the meeting.

Things were going so well. Our date was amazing. Waking every day with the two of them wrapped around me could only be made better if we were in our forever home, together forever.

When we were fucking around last night before bed, and I froze up with him behind me.Again. He felt it. Hailey felt it.

How can I have him if I can’t let him have me?

I’ve told him a dozen times or more that I’m ready for him to own me. Time and again, he hasn’t because he knows I’m not truly ready.

I hate myself for the demon I can’t quite face.

“Honey, we’re home!” Hailey hollers from the entrance. A smile pulls at my stubborn lips.

I shove from my desk and exit the small office of my plane to find two hockey groupies have body-snatched my lovers. They have Rangers beanies on their heads, jerseys on their backs, and large foam fingers in one hand and flappers in the other.

“What in the world?” My laugh surprises me. It shouldn’t. It’s what these two do to me.

“Do you like?” My siren pirouettes, displaying her getup with pride. “We’re going into enemy territory. We have to be prepared.” She grabs Hota by the strap across his chest and pulls him along. “Don’t worry. We brought you a jersey, a beanie, and a foam finger. I didn’t have another flapper, but I have the next best thing.” She squints her nose. “Maybe even better. A Rangers cowbell.”

“Am I going to need hearing aids after this game?” I chuckle.

“Maybe.” She grins.

“We can stop by the gift shop and get you some of those ear muffs they put on babies at loud events.” Hota smirks.

“Always taking care of me, Daddy.” I wink, feeling lighter than I have in the past several days.

“Ooh!” Hailey’s eyes glitter. “A daddy kink. I could get on board with that,” she says, running her hand up Hota’s chest.

Something heavy passes over his face, but he pushes it away and smacks her ass. “Go get him dressed so we can fly.” He pulls the bag off his broad chest and hands it to Hailey. “We’re not missing this game, not even for a little fun time.”

“Yes, Daddy.” She pouts but takes the bag and practically skips toward me.

Sana and Sigrid enter the main cabin from their final check of the exterior. Sana heads toward the cockpit while Sigrid greets our newest arrivals. “What can I get you to drink before takeoff?”

“Oooh! Three black Russians, please Siggy?” Hailey begs while simultaneously shoving me toward the bedroom. “We’re going to a hockey game.”

“I see that.” Sigrid’s white teeth shine bright. “Get him ready as quickly as you can. We have to take off in fifteen minutes.”

“She means no funny business.” Sana hollers from the cockpit. “Or if it’s funny, make it fast.”

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