Page 123 of Hard to Judge

“And now?” Hailey prompts.

“After your answer, I can see us as parents, great parents.” With an even better will, in case anything ever happened to us. If the worst happened, between Astor and Nat, our children would still know love and acceptance. “One day.”

“Arlo.” Hota grabs my face in both his hands. The light in his eyes is pure radiance. “Holy fuck.”

The grin that pulls at my cheeks hurts it’s so forceful. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He laughs a disbelieving, almost hysterical laugh. The boy I knew peeks out behind the man I get to spend the rest of my life with.

We look at Hailey at the same time. Her hand covers a massive, gaping smile. We pull her to us and squeeze the life out of one another.

Our hard hats fall as we jump and squeal and dance around like crazy people. People in love.

Hota’s phone rings, tugging us gently back to earth. He looks at it. The joy falls off his face for a split second before he silences the call and shoves the phone back into his pocket. “Sorry aboutthat.” He points toward the new wider opening to the closet. “What’s in there? Narnia?”

He’s deflecting. I let him, for now. “Take a look.”

Hailey and Hota step inside the walk-in closet that’s been reconfigured with the addition of a small guest room to accommodate wardrobes for all of us.

“Oh. My. God.” My siren does a happy dance and then sobers quickly. She turns. Her green eyes are wide. “Nat can never see our closet. She’ll try to overthrow us and move in.”

“Settled.” I nod.

“How long have you been up to this?” Hota grabs my wrist.

“It seems like my whole life. In reality, I added your name to the deed when I added Hailey’s.” My shoulder shrugs, and I offer him a not so sorry smirk.

“That was before Christmas.” His brows go high.

I look at Hailey, afraid she’ll hate the knowledge.

Her smart gaze zips back and forth between us. “Before I told you it was okay to want us both.”

“Yes,” I admit. “At the time, I didn’t know why I’d been compelled to do it other than because it felt right even though it looked wrong. My lawyer advised me against it. He said if anything happened to me, it would create problems.” I shrug. “If anything ever happened to me, I wanted you two to have each other.”

Hailey slips her hand into my left one as her smile widens. “You’re not going anywhere, not without us.”

Hota pulls us into his arms and burrows his face in my neck. His lips move against my skin. “Crave. Tonight. Nine o’clock.”

I know what he needs from me. I know it will be equally excruciating and freeing. There is only one answer.

“Yes, Love.”

“My entire life, Arlo—just like Nate said—has been pulling my strings. He’s made me love him and made me leave him. He’s made me happier than I thought possible and sadder than my parents’ absence. I’ve let him tug and knot my strings and thanked him for every one of my frayed ends because I love him no matter what.”

“I know you do.” Hailey kneels at my feet. She’s covered in a corseted black dress that may not leave her body this evening.

“Tonight I have to cut those strings.”

She nods. There’s no sadness in her eyes, only understanding. I cup her cheek in my hand, knowing she’s the only reason I’ll be able to get through this.

“It will be unbearable to witness.”

Again, she nods.

“You can’t intervene.”

“I know.” She swallows and turns her face. Her lips graze my palm. “I’m ready.”

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