Page 148 of Hard to Judge

“I couldn’t even seek comfort from him when my mother died.” His head shakes. “So I haven’t answered the phone.”

Without choreographing the shift, I move to the far side of Hota, Hailey slides over, and Hota follows. I sit where he was and we envelop him in our arms from both sides.

He doesn’t cry or scream, though both would be perfectly acceptable. Hell, expected even. Instead, he grips onto us for dear life. As though he might be swept away without the anchor.

Usually, I’m antsy to get home. Today, I’m thankful for the traffic that allows us to stay in this protective cocoon.

Several minutes pass, and then Hota straightens. He still clings to our arms, but relaxes enough to sit back against the seat with a huff.

“You haven’t answered the phone,” Hailey observes. “You also haven’t blocked the number.”

Hota laughs, while dropping his head forward. “You would notice the thing I’m most ashamed of.”

“What exactly are you ashamed of, Hota?” she asks in the softest voice.

“I’m ashamed that I still want a relationship with him, even when I know he doesn’t deserve it.” He bares his teeth at the idea, even as the tears finally flow.

“There is no shame in wanting connection. Your heart desires love just like every other person in the world. It’s what links us. Our need for acceptance, for community.” She presses her lips to his temple. “It is possible for people to change. Look at us. We’re a perfect example.” She waves a tiny hand between us.

I’m so proud to call her ours.

“There’s also no guarantee he has.” Her shoulder bobs. “If he hasn’t, that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. His failures as a fatherdo notreflect on you as a son.”

“Fuck no,” I chime, adding major value to the conversation.

“There is no harm in finding out.” She smiles. “Whether you find a relationship worth building upon or a lost cause, at least you’ll know.”

I pull Hota’s face to mine and smother his lips. I taste his tears and siphon away as much of his sorrow as I can before easing back. “It’s your choice, either way. If you choose to make contact, you won’t be alone. You’ll never be alone again. We won’t let you.”

“Once again, stalkerish.” He smiles.

“Just don’t file restraining orders against us.” Hailey winks.

“Never.” The sorrow in his eyes is replaced with mirth and love. He holds our hands for the rest of the ride, and still holds tight out of the car, inside the elevator, and into the condo.

The sun is setting and I’m struck by how breathtaking the colors and view are. “Do you want to live here permanently?” I turn to Hota. His brows are bunched. “I just… It’s beautiful here and I didn’t ask you if you want to live at the house. I just assumed.” I slide my suddenly sweating free palm over my pant legs. “But if you love it here, we can live here.” I wince and then turn to Hailey. “Or at your old place.” I shrug and look between them like a lost puppy.

“All to say, I don’t care where we live. As long as we’re together. And relationships are about communication and I didn’t even ask you,” I say turning back to Hota. I had asked Hailey, but that was before we were a trio.

I open my mouth to speak again, but Hota’s lips stop me.

As kisses go, it’s pretty chaste, but no less moving as he drags his mouth across mine. “I’m pretty sure I speak for Hailey when I say, we want to live in the place with the kick-ass closet, special vanity, and custom bed.”

“Not to mention a rooftop terrace, a solarium, and a kitchen that you know exactly how to use,” Hailey reassures me.

“Thank you, both of you for guiding me through my meltdown,” Hota whispers, pulling our gazes back to him. “I’ve thought about it and I’m ready to make the call.”

“Would you like to go sit in the living room together or would you like some privacy?” Hailey asks.

“I’m done doing things on my own.” He tugs us into the living room and onto the couch in a damn near dog pile.

Not complaining one bit.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket, finds the number, and then hits send and the speakerphone. “It is early in Japan,” he blurts before the call even connects enough to ring.

“Considering they already called this morning and the consistency of calls you’ve gotten over the last few weeks, Iexpect they’re awake and willing to answer.” I soothe my hand down his thigh.

The ring shoots through the room. Hota jolts. “It might just be persistent telemarketers.”

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