Page 2 of Hard to Judge

I watch them slip from the cup and into her mouth. I’m mesmerized as her throat works, pulling tight and then bobbing. I start to stiffen in my pants and jerk my gaze away.

Playing host, Arlo fills people’s cups and chats as he goes. “You love him.”

“Yes, I do,” she admits easily. “So do you.”

I nod.

There’s no use denying it. It’s ingrained in my DNA at this point.

“The holidays are especially hard for him, but you’ve made that better too, for him.” A smile tugs at my lips. “I haven’t seen him this happy in a long, long time.”

“I’d like to make them better for you.”

My gaze slides to hers. “Why? You don’t know me, not really.”

“I know you’ll do anything for Arlo, including making yourself miserable, sohecan be happy.”

This slight woman has acute words. They home in on my greatest weakness and pack a fucking punch. I feel their impact. Their reverberation pings off all the shattered pieces of my heart.

“When was the last time you did anything for yourself, to makeyouhappy?”

“When he went to college,” Arlo answers for me.

It’s the wrong answer.

My back snaps straight at the implication. I can’t help but round on him. His gaze isn’t on me. It’s drinking Hailey in as though he hasn’t seen her in days. My teeth may crack under the pressure it takes to keep from screaming. I grip the railing at my back and strangle it.

Hailey’s gaze doesn’t miss a thing. Her penetrating green eyes are trained on me. The furrow of her brow deepens. Her gaze jumps to Arlo and then back to me.

“Why didn’t you two go to college together?” She chews the corner of her mouth.

“Our paths diverged,” I answer, slowly exhaling my frustration with Arlo, who stops in front of his lover’s back. More accurately her ass, since she still leans over the railing.

Of course, he thought me choosing a different school was about me. He doesn’t know that every choice I’ve made since he came into my life has been about him, for him.

“Then you came back together?” Hailey digs in search of a bone.

“Yes, years later,” I hedge once more.

She pushes off the banister and turns toward me and Arlo. There’s playfulness in her gaze, much like when I first arrived this evening. “You were in prison.” She waves me off. “It’s fine. You don’t have to talk about it.” A smile toys with her lips as she strives to settle my mood. “Traumatic stuff, I’m sure.”

“Try the opposite of prison.” Arlo chuckles.

Her smile falters. “Oh my goodness, you were a priest.”

Just like that, the overwhelming weight is gone, and her smile blooms. Arlo laughs, and I follow. It’s warm and cozy like the fire burning in the hearth below.

“Here.” Arlo hands Hailey his phone. There’s a wide smile on his face, a proud smile. I suspect he’s showing her the announcement of his latest endeavor.

For the past few months, we’ve been quietly working on an app dedicated to tracking youth in the foster system and matching them with resources available in their area. It makes me want to cry and cheer at the same time. The cause is so close to our hearts.

He has no idea how much I struggled during those months of college the first two years or those first two summers.

Hailey gasps. Her pretty lips form an O that’s fit for a dick.

I swallow and try to look away, but her shocked gaze is on me.

“What?” I look from her to Arlo and back.