Page 60 of Hard to Judge

It takes several minutes to come down from the high. Hota’s punishing grip on my nape yanks me back to earth.

“What is it?” I whisper. I want him to tell me anything, everything. I want to know what’s in his head and his heart.

His brain tabulates things faster than most people can comprehend. Normally the answer is just there. In this moment, I see his struggle to compute everything in his crinkled brow, flexed jaw, and pursed lips. I need him to let me in on the outcome. Hell, even show me his work. His teeth grind, and I know he won’t. Not now, anyway.

“We need a shower.” He slides from behind Hailey and rubs his cum up his abdomen to keep it from dripping ontothe already questionable comforter. With his clean-ish hand, he reaches for Hailey and helps her stand.

When she gets upright, a wince pulls her features.

“Here.” Hota scoops her into his arms, bridal style, and heads for the exit to our little world. “Come on,” he says over his shoulder.

While it’s nothing close to what I want from him, I follow like a good boy because at least he’s not kicking me out.

Did I really expect him to profess his love when I haven’t been able to express my own for decades? I hoped for it, which isn’t fair to him. So much I’ve done hasn’t been fair to him. I think about all this from his perspective while he corrals us into the bathroom.

I try, at least.

Of course, he doesn’t trust what’s happening now. Of course, he expects me to freak and fall back into my old habits. It’s how we’ve been for decades.

Can he see the changes I’ve made with Hailey’s help? Clearly, my sore throat or the toy in my ass isn’t enough to convince him.

The man is great with logistics. He has us in, our toys out and cleaned, and our bodies cleaned and dried before we even start to prune.

Hailey leans heavily against me as he finishes drying her feet. My arms are tight around her, holding her up.

Hota stands and studies Hailey’s face. He brushes a kiss over her forehead and straightens. “Bring her to bed.” He points toward his room and his king-sized bed and then turns away.

“What about you?” I ask lamely.

“I’ll be there shortly.” He leans down, grabs the pile of discarded towels, then heads for the laundry room. I guess.

After I can no longer see him, I scoop Hailey up and pull her against my chest. Her eyes are half-lidded, but the open part is on me. “Give him time,” she breathes. “It’s a lot to process.”

I press my lips to hers and then bring her to the bed.

It’s odd that Hota and I are so close and spent so much time in bed together in boarding school, yet I haven’t even seen his bed since we left Willoughby Ridge.

Though I feel like an interloper, I pull back the decadent covers and slide Hailey inside. She scoots to the middle and gives me grabby fingers. I pick the side I assume isn’t Hota’s and slide in behind her.

The vantage point gives me a great view of the door. As Hailey nestles close, I watch it and wait for him to return when I really should be checking on my siren. My gaze flicks to her in the dying light of day.

“I’m perfect,” she assures me before I even ask.

“I’m that transparent?”

“You’re that loving, and I’m that in tune with you. I’m…” She yawns. “I’m also a noodle in human form.” Her arms and legs dance in demonstration.

“The most delicious noodle.” I kiss her forehead and rub her arm, then watch her eyes grow heavier and heavier. She jerks a few times but settles into a deep sleep.

I oscillate between watching the clock and the door.

Forty fucking minutes pass before a svelte form stands in the shadows peering in. I hold still, as not to scare him off, and silently beckon him forward.

He stays there for several minutes before he walks his gloriously naked body into the room and slides into the bed on the other side of Hailey. He draws a deep breath and relaxes against the pillow.

“Hota?” I whisper.

He turns toward me with a snap, his eyes narrow. “You could have moved or something to let me know you were awake,” he gruffs quietly.

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