Page 74 of Hard to Judge

“Yes.” He drops my hand, grabs a roll, and pulls it apart. “Who do you think stalked you when Arlo was busy?”

My heart stutters. I gape at him.

I should be pissed that he and Arlo followed me around. They watched me when I didn’t know. They learned things about me that I didn’t share with them. It should make my skin crawl. Instead, it makes me warm and tingly in all the right, or wrong, places.

He chucks half of the roll into his mouth and then lifts a steaming bit to my lips.

“You two are going to be the death of me.” I snag a bite of bread.

Hota smiles and licks his full lips, confirming my statement.

We eat and chat about work and my aunt. I even tell him about my friendship with Astor. He shares more about his days at Willoughby Ridge. I can’t help but be grateful he and Arlo had each other.

He pays the check, and we leave. Instead of sliding into a car, we walk despite the cold. It’s not too windy, and the chill calms my nerves. After all, the subject upon me is the remnant of the worst day of my life. I need to face it head-on.

“Arlo didn’t tell you about my parents?” I shift my gaze up to Hota.

His warm hand grabs mine and tucks it into the crook of his arm. He protects it from the elements with his own. “He wouldn’t betray your confidence, not even to me.”

That tracks, and still my throat stings. I’m not used to such treatment. “He hasn’t answered any of my questions about you either.”

“He’s loyal one hundred percent,” Hota agrees, guiding us around a dog that’s bigger than its walker, and gives us a wary glare.

I don’t worry about the dog. Not with this man by my side. He’d probably fold the thing into a pretzel if it lunged.

“So are you,” I offer.

He finally turns away from the dog and meets my gaze. “Are you?”

It’s a fair question. He doesn’t know me, and I’m with the person he cares about most in the world. The implication stings, but I face it head-on. “There was a time I wasn’t even loyal to myself.” As he knows from a few stories I’ve shared. “Therapy and Arlo have changed that, and you.” I squeeze his arm. His really big and unyielding arm.

Focus, Hailey.

“You’re an astounding example of sticking through the hard times.”

“I know what it’s like to be abandoned.” The muscles flex around his jaw. “I could never do that to someone I love.”

“Your father disowned you.” I pull him closer to my side. Actually, I pull myself closer to his side because he’s huge and doesn’t budge. “For his sake, I hope we never meet.”

“Ferocious little sunshine.” His teeth snag his bottom lip.

“Small but mighty.” I grin at him.

“This I know.” He looks down at me with a heavy gaze.

I go for it. “What about your mother?”

“She did the best she could while dulling a multitude of demons with pharmaceuticals and alcohol. She was hurt very similarly to how Arlo was. Over time, they grew too loud until she ended the noise.”

My heart pinches. This man deserves only amazing things in his life, and he’s had to deal with absolute shit, time and again. “I’m sorry, Hota.”

He nods.

“Your parents’ actions have nothing to do with you. It’s their unmanaged trauma that led them down their paths. Not thateither of them deserved their trauma. I’m fairly certain your father has some too. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have forsaken an amazing person like you.”

“I’m an asshole, sunshine,” he says, kissing my temple and proving he’s most certainly not an asshole.

“You are perfect as you are.” I slip under his arm and wrap mine around his middle as we meander down the sidewalk.

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