Page 120 of Mr. Swoony

“Fuck you all,” Rowan says.

I rush to the door, and when I swing it open, I find Jade and Kyleigh there. They’re each carrying a plate with cake.

“I’d knee you in the nuts if you weren’t my brother, and I didn’t want to be an aunt one day.”

“And I won’t do it because I want Kyleigh to be an aunt but do something like that again, and I can’t make any promises,” Jade says.

I ignore their threats. “Why are you eating my cake?”

“Your cake?” Kyleigh laughs and walks in. “This isn’t your cake anymore.”

Jade follows my sister inside and stops at my side. “She’s hurt, Conor. Fix it.”

“I will.”

She nods, and I walk out to the stairs, jog down, and press the code to unlock my condo, but when I open the door, it’s dark inside except for the light under her bedroom door.

Here goes nothing.

Fifty

Eloise

I hear him before he knocks on my bedroom door.

“I need to talk to you, Eloise. Please.”

When I open the door, he looks so depressed that my heart pinches. But I swallow down those people-pleasing habits of mine, leave the door open, and walk back over to the bed.

“If you still want to sleep in your own bed tonight, I understand, but I just want to talk to you. I’m so sorry, Eloise. I was being stupid trying to fix this without involving you. I should’ve showed you the picture and explained the situation the minute I opened that envelope. I should’ve told you what happened in Florida. And I definitely shouldn’t have lied to you today.” He slides out my makeup chair and sits.

I’m on the bed, sitting against the headboard and holding the pillow to my chest. I was just about to take off my makeup, so my hair is thrown into a bun, and I’m in my shorts and cami pajamas.

He opens his mouth but closes it before speaking again. “Over the years in the league, I’ve seen a lot of relationships destroyed by the drama that can come from being a pro hockey player. So many times, a guy would come into the locker room and say I found her, she’s the one. And then either the demands of the season demolish it, or the guy makes a bad decision on the road during a weak moment. Shit, I’ve seen a player sleep with another player’s wife. I didn’t want to chance the outside world ruining things for us, so I tried to keep it a secret. I was wrong.”

“Yes, you were.” I squeeze the pillow a little tighter.

He nods. “I know. And I’ll never do it again.”

I shift to the edge of the bed, wanting to be closer to him when I tell him why I was so angry. “Conor, being with Tristan was like being in the dark all the time. Sometimes I’d show up to a party and hear stories from people about something he’d done three days before that he’d never shared with me. One time at a party, a girl introduced herself to me, and when I said I was Tristan’s fiancée, she said she didn’t even know he was dating anyone let alone engaged.” My fingers twist in the pillowcase from reliving the embarrassment of that moment. “He just lived his life without any concern for me, only what he wanted. That’s not the kind of relationship I want. And I don’t want to be the girlfriend you ‘take care of.’” I put “take care of” in air quotes.

He nods, and I see how upset he is. I want to crawl into his lap and hug him so tightly, but I need to convey to him what I want from this relationship and how important it is to me.

“I want to be a strong presence at your side. You’re going to go through a lot of ups and downs in your career. It’s not an easy road for anyone. We’re going to run into difficulties, and I need to trust that you’ll include me in your decisions. I want you to lean on me just as much as I lean on you.” I get up from the bed, pad over to the dresser, and take out the check I wrote earlier. “Jade told me how much the rent is. This is my half for the time I’ve lived here.” I hold it out to him.

He accepts the check but blows out a breath. “Eloise…”

“No, Conor.”

“Are you moving out?” His voice cracks.

My heart aches at the fear in his eyes. “No. But I asked you a lot about how much I owed you, and you kept brushing me off. I appreciate your kindness, but I want us on equal footing.”

I sit on the bed again.

“I understand now, I really do, and I’m sorry.” He shifts in the chair, his eyes meeting mine. “Truly.”

“I just want us to be partners.”

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