Page 23 of Mr. Swoony

“You know what?” I put down my drink. “What’s the harm, right?”

“What?” Alvin asks, probably sick of listening to me by now.

“Going to watch her marry him. It’ll do me good.” Yes, this is a great idea. It’ll solidify the fact that she’s not mine. Really drive the point home. Then I can move on.

“You should go in there and stop the wedding,” Alvin says. “If she means that much to you, and you’re this upset, I’d say it’s justified.”

“I second that. You’ll be saving her from a lifetime of misery.” Simon nods.

“Go get your girl. You can’t ignore these connections. That’s how people end up like my parents. Unhappily married and yearning for other people,” Theodore says.

We all look at him because that’s some deep shit.

“He’s right. I saw this psychologist on my feed the other day, and he was talking about how many sexless marriages there are. Usually, people are married but still in love with someone from their past, but since they couldn’t get them, they settled. You don’t want to settle, man,” Alvin says. “Neither of you should. You owe it to her if you care about her!”

They’re so right. Why didn’t I see it before now? I need to stop this wedding!

I down my drink and stand. “You’re right. I’m Conor fucking Nilsen. And I’m not stupid. I know she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. I’d be saving us both.” I drop the glass on the table.

Tweetie comes into the room. “What are you assholes doing here midday? And why is Ruby letting you all get smashed?”

I pat him on the chest. “I gotta go.”

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“This is gonna be epic. We’re coming with,” one of the chipmunks says, but I’m not sure which one.

I’m already halfway across the bar.

“Where are you fuckers going?” Tweetie asks, following.

“I already ordered the Uber.” Simon raises his hand, and a car pulls up along the curb.

We all file into the Uber and head to the church.

Is this what a white knight feels like? Because I feel badass.

Ten

Eloise

I’m staring at myself in the mirror, dressed in my wedding gown. Jade stands behind me, ready to help me with my veil.

“Guess what I found the other day?” I say to her.

“Do I want to know?” She’s careful to put the comb part of the veil on top of my bun, securing all my hair away from my face except for a few wispy pieces.

“My bucket list.” I bend forward to give her better access. She secures it with a few bobby pins.

“Really? I wonder where mine is. God, I feel like a totally different person than when we wrote those.”

I smile in the mirror at my best friend. “You’re engaged and a mama now.”

I’m super happy for Jade. I was worried about her for years, but she returned to Chicago and reconnected with Henry.

“Sometimes I can’t believe I’m here.”

I’m envious of the radiance she has now, as if every day is better than the day before. “You deserve it.”

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