Page 24 of Mr. Swoony

She positions the tulle from the veil around my bare shoulders. “And so do you.” She looks at me in the mirror over my shoulder. “You’re happy, right, Eloise?”

Jade really is a great friend. Since the day I ran out of the bridal shop when I first tried on a wedding dress, she’s been asking me the same question. The problem is that I haven’t been a good friend because I haven’t been honest with her. Still can’t be honest for some reason. “Yeah.”

She stares at me long and hard. I know she sees it. She knows me too well not to guess that I’m having doubts. Have been having doubts for a while now.

“It’s just this wedding. I mean, look at me.” I pick up the big skirt and drop the stiff layers of tulle.

“You look beautiful, just like Cinderella.” She smiles at me.

I nod. It’s not my style, but Tristan’s mom was pretty firm about what she felt was best. I think it’s because she views her son as a prince.

“So, tell me what was on your list,” Jade asks, leaving me to stare at my reflection. She opens her purse and grabs her lipstick.

“A lot of things I’ve never done. I should have traveled with you.”

“I was running away,” she says before puckering her lips in the mirror.

I wouldn’t mind running away right now.

“You know that you don’t have to do this,” she says. “I’ll get Henry’s keys, and we’ll sneak you out the back door.”

I turn away from the mirror, hoping that gets rid of my nerves. “No, silly, it’s just jitters. Do you mind if I have a moment alone though?”

“Eloise…”

I raise my hand. “I’m okay, Jade. If you could keep Tristan’s mom out of here, I’d appreciate it.” I run my hand down her arm to reassure her.

“Okay, I’ll be your bodyguard outside the door.” She keeps giving me that look that says, “I’m ready to run if you want,” and I appreciate it.

“Thanks.”

She leaves me alone in the bridal suite, moments before the ceremony starts. Standing in front of the mirror again, I gaze at my reflection.

“Do I even know you anymore?” I whisper to myself.

This isn’t the dress I wanted to wear. Last fall, when I first met Kyleigh at the dress fitting, and she insisted I try on a dress she felt was perfect for me, I freaked out because I saw a glimpse of my old self in that mirror. It was the first time I realized I’d morphed into someone I didn’t even recognize. I really wish she had just allowed me to try on what I’m wearing now, the Cinderella dress that everyone expects me to show up in. Then maybe all these mixed feelings inside me wouldn’t be brewing. Perhaps I wouldn’t have found some refuge with Conor.

Turning away from the mirror, I dig out the list from my bag and read over it again.

To fall in love.

When I first found the list, I should have been able to cross that off, but something stopped me from doing so.

A knock sounds on the door, and I fold the list and tuck it back into my bag.

Jade peeks her head in. “It’s your mom.”

“Oh, okay.”

My mom walks in, and Jade shuts the door after her. Mom stands there for a second and takes me in. I’ve been on borrowed time with my mom. She’s been giving me looks for months, but today is the big day, and she’s not one to let things happen without a conversation.

“You look beautiful, but I had no doubt you would.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“I just wanted to have a quick word. I know the ceremony is going to start soon.” She takes my hands. “This is what you want, right?”

“Why do people keep asking me that? I’m here, aren’t I? I’m dressed and ready.” I slide my hands from hers, upset with myself for losing my patience.

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