Page 25 of Mr. Swoony

“Because you don’t look happy. Listen, sweetie, I know your dad wanted?—”

“This isn’t about dad,” I argue, knowing there’s more untruth in that comment than truth.

“Fine, if you say so, but I want you to know one more thing. And then I’ll go sit in my pew and be quiet. Your dad wanted you in this world, his world. He wanted you to want for nothing in life. And Tristan can offer that to you. No one can deny that fact.” She places her hand on my cheek. “But he’d also want you to be happy. And believe it or not, your dad wasn’t always happy in his world. I think he chose to forget that in his later years, but sometimes he felt caught up in it, as if he was on the hamster wheel and couldn’t get off. I’m not sure. Before I leave you here, I want you to know that you can walk away. You have the option not to marry Tristan, and it’s okay. Yes, people will be upset, and yes, people will be nasty, but it’s okay. You’re not a monster for changing your mind.”

Her hand drops, but I take it before she can walk away. My eyes fill with tears, but I swallow them down, not wanting to ruin my makeup. Is it a mother’s gift to have some sense of what their children need to hear at the exact right moment? “Thanks, Mom.”

She squeezes my hand. “You’re welcome. I know there are a lot of big and powerful people in that church, but you have an army behind you too, Eloise. An army of people on your side.”

“I know.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Her gaze remains on me until she nods and leaves the room.

I wait for the door to shut to blow out the breath I’ve been holding. I head to the window and stare at the street, watching a few late guests arrive. I wonder where Conor is right now. Was our connection real, or was it infatuation? Was it just my subconscious looking for an out?

Jade peeks her head in again. “Eloise, it’s time.”

I turn away from the window and pick up my bouquet off the stand the florist left it on. Jade holds the door open, and I walk over to the main doors that lead into where the ceremony will be held. The wedding planner who did Tristan’s sister’s wedding is at the doors, organizing everyone to walk down the aisle.

Jade keeps glancing over her shoulder at me, checking that I’m okay. I wish I had put my foot down and had Sam walking me down the aisle, but my grandma said she couldn’t bear to see a man other than my father escorting me. It would make her so sad on what should be a happy day, so I obliged and said I’d walk by myself. But I feel like Sam would give me great words of encouragement right now.

Then again, he might feel the same as my mom. She’s always hated this world. She never liked it when I went with my dad for a weekend. I overheard her once talking to Sam after the engagement party, telling him how horrible they all were to her, treating her as if she was less than them when she was pregnant with me.

The music starts, and the doors open. My chest tightens as the first bridesmaid gets into position.

“Hey, Jade,” I whisper and wave for her to come closer, away from the other bridesmaids and the flower girl.

“What’s up?” she asks, giving me that same expression she’s had all day, probably ready to call Henry out of his pew.

I shouldn’t ask her, especially now, but I have to know before I do this. “Conor Nilsen? He plays for the Falcons, right?”

She draws back, questions lingering in her eyes. “Um… yeah. Why?”

I bite my lip but release it, not wanting to ruin my lipstick. “Does Henry know him? I mean, I know they play on the same team and stuff, but…”

“You’ve met him?” she asks, eyes wide.

“I never met him.” I shake my head. “I mean, I did, but not with you.”

She looks around and leans in closer. “Eloise, why are we talking about Conor Nilsen right before you walk down the aisle to marry Tristan?”

“I just wondered what kind of guy he is. Like a Henry kind of hockey player or like a real hockey player?” The second bridesmaid begins her march down the aisle. “You know, like a playboy or the settle-down type?”

“Eloise…” I see the confusion on her face. I’m sure this is all coming out of left field.

“Just answer me.”

She looks over her shoulder and sees most of the bridesmaids have already started their walk. “He’s a good guy. Not really a good dart player though.”

I huff and roll my eyes, wishing she’d be straight with me. She probably would be if I told her what happened last Saturday and how Conor has been the only thing on my mind this week whenever I’m alone.

“Jade,” the wedding planner whispers.

“Playboy or not?” I ask, eyes wide. I need this answer before I walk down the aisle.

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