Page 99 of Mr. Swoony

“For encouraging me. Telling me you think I’d be good at it. Boosting my ego, I suppose.”

“Hey.” I put my finger under her chin and tip my head to look her in the eyes, so she knows how serious I am. “I believe it, I’m not just saying it. I know you’ll be good at anything you decide to do. I’m not boosting your ego. I’m just by your side.”

She scoots up and presses her lips to mine. “You make me wish I met you five years ago.”

“Five years ago, I might have fucked this up, but I understand what you’re saying.” Five years ago, I wasn’t in any frame of mind to make a relationship work. Sure, maybe this feeling I’ve had since the first night I met Eloise would’ve been there, or maybe it would have been different, I don’t know. But I do know I would hate being in Tweetie’s position where he found her and fucked it up, then pretended for years not to care.

“Too cool for monogamy back then?” She rolls out of my arms, but I grab her back, spooning her from behind.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Ice cream. You want some?” She grinds her ass into my dick.

“I have a cone for you to lick if you want.”

She frees herself from my grip and scurries off to the kitchen. With her leaving, I sit up to go through the mail, which turns out is mostly just junk. I flip and flip, until I see a hard cardboard envelope with printed handwriting addressed to me.

“No on the ice cream?” Eloise calls, and I hear the freezer open, the cabinet open, a bowl leave the cupboard, and a spoon leave the silverware drawer.

“If I can lick it off you.” I place the envelope to the side of me, continuing to sort through the junk and bills, separating the two.

“You’ve done enough eating off my body tonight.”

“Not even close. Bring the chocolate sauce and whipped cream. You’ll be my dessert.” God, how many flyers can people send?

“That’s very cliché of you, Conor Nilsen.”

I toss the junk in my wastebasket and set the mail I need to go through later on my dresser, but that cardboard envelope slips out and falls to the floor.

“Hey, you still need to show me your list,” I hear her say.

I open the envelope, curious to see what this is. “Sure, but I have to add to eat a sundae off my gorgeous girlfriend.”

“Ha. Ha. You’ve seen both of mine. It’s time I see yours.”

I pull out the contents of the envelope, and the first thing I see is a note in girly script with curls on every letter.

Here’s your chance to score. Miss me?

My heart races as I remove the Post-it Note to see a picture of a topless woman with my number painted above her tits. What the fuck?

“Okay, I’ll smear it, and you can lick it off.” Eloise’s voice is closer now.

I scramble to open my underwear drawer and tuck the envelope and picture under my boxer briefs. Then I slam the drawer shut and pretend to look through the stack of mail, working to calm the anxiety racing through my body.

“Hello?” Eloise says.

I turn around and smack on a fake-ass smile for the first time ever with her.

“You look pale. Are you feeling okay?” She can tell something is off, I see it in her face.

“Yeah, I think maybe I just had too much sushi. I’ll be right back.” I walk over to her and kiss her cheek, then continue to my bathroom.

Once the door is shut, I sit on the toilet and put my head in my hands.

How the hell did she find me again?

Forty

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