Page 103 of Bottles & Blades

He sighs, but he’s my dad, so he lets me off the hook. “Okay, peanut.” Or maybe not, I realize a moment later when he says, “Then let’s talk about those scratches on your face.”

I still.

“Baby,” he says, warning all over his tone, “don’t even try to lie to me. You promised me that if she put her hands on you again we’d talk about it and come up with a different plan.”

“I’m fine?—”

“I heard the commotion—this morning with the nurse at the door, when she made that mess, and when you came over, and I couldn’t do anything but lay here. That can’t keep happening.”

No, it can’t.

“Why didn’t you call me when it went down earlier?” I ask instead of acknowledging that.

“I was going to survey the damage, see what I could clean up first?—”

I groan. “Dad!”

The man can barely walk. What the hell was he thinking, even considering cleaning up that mess in the kitchen?

“Something has to change, peanut,” he says gently. “I know that we haven’t wanted to sell the house, but I think it’s time.”

“Dad,” I whisper.

“She’s always been a handful, but now I can’t fucking handle her—” He jerks his hand down his painfully thin body then looks back at me. “Baby, we need to sell the house and use the proceeds to put us somewhere else, somewhere she can get the care she needs and we’re not such a goddamned drain on you.”

“Dad,” I say again, “Iwantto take care of you. It’s the least I can do after all that you guys did for me?—”

“We’re your parents, baby. It’s our duty and privilege to take care of you.”

So much like what Jean-Mi said earlier.

“And I know I haven’t done a good job with it?—”

“I’m healthy?—”

His hand settles on mine. “That’s not what I’m talking about.” He closes his eyes. “I should have left her, should have protected you. But I was too weak and didn’t want to fight that fight.” His lids peel back. “I did wrong by you, peanut. And it’s beyond time that stops.”

“Don’t make me cry,” I whisper.

His fingers find mine. “I love you, honey. You had a shit start to life and I’m so proud of all you’ve become despite it, but now’s the time to go out and live your life without having to worry every minute about us.”

My eyes burn. My throat is so damned tight that it takes serious effort to push my words out.

“You said it was your privilege to be there for me,” I whisper, squeezing his hand. “You need to know I feel the same way.” I take a breath. “I don’t want you to lose the house, Dad. You worked too hard for it.”

“You’re more important than the four walls around me, peanut.”

“Give me a little more time to figure things out.”

“You don’t need the stress, baby girl.”

“Dad—”

“Youdon’t. You should be focusing on your classes, on building your life, not dealing with this shit alone.”

My heart squeezes, but before I can speak, he goes on.

“You need to move forward, move away, do something that isn’t spending all of your time and mental energy taking care of people who won’t be here much longer anyway.”

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