The moonlit tin-glazed Prague. I gazed at the stars, thinking of the vast world beneath them.
Maria was right. For now, I remained a ghost, presumed dead, still able to walk unseen. It would be easy to hide for the rest of this war, however long it lasted, so nothing could ever hurt me again.
I hadn’t chosen this path. Scion had detained me, that fateful day in March. In Oxford, it had either been fronting a rebellion for Arcturus or being murdered by Nashira. Not much of a choice at all.
But Ihadchosen to fight Nashira at the Bicentenary. I had chosen to be Underqueen. I had chosen to resist Scion. For better or worse, I had chosen Black Moth. I had pursued and accepted the Rose Crown, and with it, a lifelong duty to London. I owed it to my subjects to reclaim my throne. Without it, I had no real power to my name. My words would not ring with the might of a citadel.
Without it, I would just be Paige.
The wine sent me to sleep. Deep in the night, Maria got up to use the bathroom, and I stirred, thinking I was in Paris. I reached across the bed and found nothing.
If you can hear me, answer me. Even if it’s only to say you hate me. I willed him to answer. Please just tell me you’re alive.
No answer.
It was like he had never existed at all.
It was a few days before we heard from Radomír. I slept for most of it. Maria would wake me for meals and short walks, but otherwise, she let me rest. While I was in my dreamscape, I tried to break the pallor off the walls, to no avail. It was set as deep as lichen.
On the fourth day, I forced myself through a cold shower. I still felt like shite, but at least I might be able to stay awake for longer than an hour. I dried my hair and dressed warmly.
Maria made us both lunch. As she finished serving it up, I gazed out of the window.
‘Maria,’ I said, ‘can you show me how to get on to Protean?’
She brought a wooden platter of food to the table.
‘Yes,’ she said, ‘but you need to brace yourself, Paige. The Scionet is a walled garden, curated by the Ministry of Principles. Protean is the opposite, vast and ungovernable. It can be useful, but I read too much, too quickly, and I sometimes wish I hadn’t.’
‘What did you read?’
‘Over a decade of news. I missed a great deal while I was in Scion.’ She sat opposite me. ‘Tuck in.’
I helped myself to the cucumber salad and skewers of grilled lamb with yoghurt. As it turned out, Maria was both an excellent cook and a spice enthusiast. As I ate, I suddenly thought of the tasteless stew Arcturus had made in Paris, smiling before I could stop myself.
Maria noticed. ‘Good?’
‘It’s great.’ I cleared my throat. ‘So you don’t think I should look?’
‘Not yet. There will be time to fill the gaps in your knowledge, and you should use all the tools at your disposal,’ she said, ‘but at present, I think you have more than enough on your plate.’ She speared a slice of charred pepper. ‘On that note, have you made a decision?’
‘I have.’
She raised her eyebrows in question.
‘I’m not abandoning the revolution. The fight against Scion is who I am now,’ I said. ‘I’ll meet Command to ensure their support, and to see if they have any idea what happened to Warden. I’ll fulfil my contract, then go back to London. I’ll let the whole empire know I’m alive.’
‘And there she is.’ Maria smiled. ‘It’s good to have you back, Underqueen.’
Radomír summoned us the next day, right on schedule, to head to Italy. Maria went out early to buy me a set of clothes and a bag for the journey. I drank a coffee and ate breakfast before I dressed in the new sweater and trousers.
‘Sorry,’ I said to Maria. ‘I’ll owe you the money.’
‘You’ll do no such thing. Like I said, I’ve been saving my salary for the Mime Order.’ Maria picked up an overstuffed day pack. ‘I’m looking forward to a little break in Italy.’
‘I can’t imagine it will be much of a holiday.’
‘Let me dream, please.’ She opened the door for me. ‘I requested a gun for you, but I suspect Radomír will have to decline. You’d need a licence, and you have no legal identity in Czechia. Domino has to abide by the law in the free world. Can you use your spirit?’