Page 22 of The Dark Mirror

‘This happened to me, too. As soon as I saw the yellow streetlamps, I started weeping like a child.’

‘That’s the first thing I noticed. The lights.’

‘We lived for years in Scion. Of course it’s overwhelming to be free of it.’ With a joyless smile, she showed me her electronic cigarette. ‘You can make these things glow any colour. I chose blue, because it reminded me of the lamps of London. It reminded me of home.’

I was shivering like I was out in a blizzard. Londonwashome, even if it was the capital of Scion.

‘We had a handle on things there, didn’t we?’ Maria said gently. ‘We carved ourselves a place in that citadel. And suddenly we were flung back out here, adrift in open water.’ A rueful grin. ‘I know it’s painfully ironic, but … it’s like we need an anchor, isn’t it?’

An eruption of helpless laughter escaped me. I laughed until my ribs hurt and tears escaped down my cheeks.

‘I know. I’m the sharpest wit in Europe.’ Maria chuckled, then looked worried. ‘Paige, you’re having a panic attack, and you’re drunk. Mirror me, if you can. Breathe in.’

Breathe in.Now I was back in Paris, yellow eyes before me. Yellow lights.Breathe in, Paige.

‘Maria,’ I said, my voice trembling, ‘if he didn’t betray me, then Nashira must have him. And he can’t have betrayed me, because the Mime Order was safe in April. And I can’t feel him.’

‘Feel him?’ Maria said. ‘Paige, are you talking about Warden?’

I was in my own head now, deep in my fears. The more I thought about his betrayal, the less sense it made.

The betrayal had shaken me to the core. In the days that followed, I hadn’t been able to think straight. But the idea that he could have played such a long game, moulding each lie to win my trust, was so hard to believe in hindsight. His interest in humankind had been real. He had learned to play the organ, kept books and a gramophone in Magdalen. He had not flirted with flesh-treachery, but committed to it, savoured it. Every moment of that night had felt true.

Surely there was no reason for him to go that far. Surely there was no reason for him to have been kind to Michael Wren or Fazal Osman or Gail Fisher, the other human residents of Magdalen. He had taken them all under his wing years before my arrival in Oxford.

Surely there was another explanation.

‘He was my anchor,’ I said in a whisper. Maria leaned closer to hear me. ‘Like Verca is yours.’

Maria scrutinised my face. I saw the realisation flicker into her eyes.

‘In … the same way?’

I closed my eyes, and nodded.

4

YELLOW LIGHTS

Maria made me a cup of tea, but went for a whiskey herself. She nursed it as we sat on the balcony, watching Prague. Late in the evening, it glowed as if with many bonfires, lit by all its golden streetlamps; the light smeared and pulled by my exhaustion.

Now I was sobering up, my nerves were threadbare. Until now, only Nick and Ducos had been aware of my relationship with Arcturus. I had known Maria for more than three years, but we had only been friends for a few months, and this was a big secret to lay on her.

‘That night in Candlewick,’ Maria said slowly. ‘I left my coat at the meeting. When I came back for it, you were alone with Warden, and you looked flustered. Like I’d disturbed you.’

‘That was our closest shave.’

‘I would have guessed at once if he was human, but I cast the possibility straight out of my head.’ She looked at me in complete amazement. ‘You and Warden. You and a Reph. You.’

‘Not sure how I feel about how shocked you sound.’

‘I don’t mean it badly, sweet. You’re just so serious and focused, especially since you became Underqueen, and you’ve never seemed interested in anyone. And Warden is—’

‘Warden.’

‘Yes.’ She drank some whiskey. ‘Warden.’

We sat in silence for a while, listening to a street performer.

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