Page 43 of Liars and Liaisons

For a while, I stay and watch Janus continue his cleanup. The scent of sweat and stale perfume permeates the air, and I wait for the noise to accompany it.

I wait for my ghosts to show their faces—in the form of a creaking floorboard or a mysteriously broken knickknack.

I wait for some sort of emotion to solidify in my mind. Something to prove to myself that I feel one way or another about what I’m doing here.

Nothing ever comes. The longer I stand there, hands in my pockets, the more hollow my insides become.

So, I leave. No point in remaining.

I mean to go to my bedroom even though I know I won’t be able to sleep.

I’ll be too busy imagining the bloodcurdling screams of terror and pain when those partygoers wake up. The confusion they’ll feel when they realize they’re not on the couches they passed out on and some of their friends are missing.

Not only missing, but have ceased to exist entirely.

Their identities will be wiped, and no one will ever be the wiser.

Another night will pass where vengeance is partially achieved, and yet I won’t be able to sleep.

So, I don’t go to my bedroom. I bypass the hall leading to the den and then ignore my bedroom entirely.

When I end up in front of her door all over again, I’m not even surprised.

I slide my mask down, unfasten the lock, and walk in.

14

Soft light spillsin from the open doorway. A chilled breeze floats over me, gently brushing my bare skin and causing goose bumps to sprout in its wake.

I burrow deeper into my covers.

The door clicks shut, and darkness surrounds me once again. The moon outside is partially obscured by clouds, so other than a small glow of white slanting across the floor, it’s pitch-black. I can’t even see my hand right in front of my face.

A thick knot balls up in the back of my throat with each still second that passes. I know he’s in here. I canfeelit—that otherworldly, overwhelming essence that thrums around him. Some sort of dark energy that should repel my sensibilities but only seems to entice them instead.

Shadows move like ink through the room. My blood turns to ice in my veins, and my nipples harden with awareness.

God, this is so wrong. Him sneaking in here. Me excited by the fact that he can’t seem to stay away even though I’m committed in my mind to getting back with his brother.

Nate isn’t here though. I haven’t even heard from him since we broke up, and since he didn’t show himself at the fundraiser, a part of me wonders if it’s stupid to still want him. Clearly, the feelings are one-sided, andhisfear of my brother doesn’t make his desire for me burn brighter.

I clutch the sheets at my sides as the whisper of a presence stops at the foot of the bed. My toes curl.

Nothing happens. He doesn’t come closer, doesn’t say a word. It’s as if the mask I’m certain he’s still wearing has created some invisible force and he can no longer play past his hand.

Unease swims in my stomach. I sit up a little, straightening my spine against the headboard. Outside, stars scatter themselves in the night sky, tucked away between clouds, like they’re not supposed to be there.

“Grayson?” My voice is a mere whisper, barely audible.

The shadows move, drifting like velvet wisps of obsidian-colored air. I imagine them reaching out and over, blanketing me in their depths.

The hairs on my arms stand up straight, and I push back the covers slowly. The way you might approach a wild animal—with care and precision, so as to avoid getting bitten.

Rising to my knees, I shift down the mattress toward the figure, though as I get closer, it becomes harder to make out its shape.

My fingers curl over the footboard, and I’m so close to the shadows that I can practically feel them brushing against me. Testing the waters to see how far I’ll let them go.

For tonight, I want them to push my boundaries. If only so I can maybe remember the first time. What it felt like to have Grayson’s hands roaming freely, what his body felt like on mine. All I remember now is the slant of his lips, how they were somehow hard yet soft, all at the same time.

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