Page 51 of Liars and Liaisons

And I certainly wouldn’t mind the distraction.

“Come,” I tell her, sliding back to my spot in the tub. Like I never touched her in the first place. “But keep those eyes on me, so I can see just how much of a dirty girl you really are. Nathaniel never got to see this, did he? It’s just for me. Just for your masked man.”

Again, she nods, and I realize as her mouth parts on a silent O that I don’t even care if she’s lying.

The earth shatters around her, around us, and in that moment, it could actually implode, and I wouldn’t even notice.

Because she doesn’t look away once.

16

Despair isn’ta feeling I’m overly familiar with.

When I was growing up, my mother would go out of her way to cheer me up if I was ever sad, and even though we skirted the poverty line—at best—most of my childhood, I found that I was content with life.

I suppose that’s the thing about contentment—you’ll tolerate anything if you don’t know better.

Until this very moment, I thought I knew what an orgasm felt like. Thought sexting with Nate while one-handing it with my vibrator was as good as it got. It never occurred to me that penetration might feel different—and even more so when coached by a seasoned professional.

Not that Nate was inexperienced by any means. He just also wasn’t terribly concerned with my desire to wait.

Since I obliterated any sense of boundaries with Grayson the night we met, the restraint I’ve practiced my whole life is absent. And, as it turns out,contentis not the correct word to describe my sex life.

Content isn’t even in the same universe as whatever the hell just happened here.

Magic. That’s what this was.

Coming alive at the mere sound of another’s voice. The images he painted in my mind, as if tapping into some dark, secret place that I hadn’t known existed.

Or rather, I had known it existed. I just hadn’t been sure how to get inside.

My face burns like the surface of the sun as I come crashing back to earth. Awareness seeps into my pores like a medicated serum, and as the euphoria from my orgasm subsides, shame and sadness follow close behind. The realization of what just happened sinks in, and as I withdraw my fingers from my pussy, I note that no memories were triggered.

Only a profound hollowness exists where my hand just was.

New ones were made though. I suppose that’s something—even if the man responsible is a monster in his own right.

Even if his glassy emerald eyes glow as they bore into mine. Like he really enjoyed what I just let him witness.

“Don’t get shy on me now,” he says after a moment, blinking away the twinkling awe in his irises. “You can’t come for me and then act like there’s still a wall between us.”

A part of me is tempted to ask what changed between last night and this morning. Why he disappeared without a trace less than twelve hours ago, but he came in today. But I don’t.

I’m not sure I want to know.

“It’s not a wall; it’s a mountain. A tall, human-shaped one that looks a lot like you.”

Grayson doesn’t respond. Instead, he pushes off the edges of the tub and stands up. I avert my gaze since I’m eye-level with his dick and don’t really want to know if what just happened affected him at all.

I’m not sure I could handle the disappointment if it didn’t.

He gets out and walks to the sink across the room, scooping a white terry-cloth towel from the counter and tossing it in my direction. Meanwhile, he just leans back against the cabinetry, dripping all over the floor.

“What’s the deal with you and my brother anyway?”

I get out and quickly wrap the towel around myself, ignoring the heat striking my face when he refuses to look away.

“Unlike you and me, there’s no deal.”

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