Page 84 of A Bond in Flames

Elswyth Beatrix Thornheartdied at 2:48 a.m.,surrounded by her loved ones on a crisp and cloudy winter’s night.

Jasmine and I watched her soul rise from her body, and when Stanley greeted her, pulling her into his arms and holding her tight, she transformed, becoming the bold, stunningly beautiful young witch she had once been. Her hair, long and black, hung down her back as she smiled at him.

“She’s with Stanley,” I said to my aunt and cousins. “She’s young again and so incredibly beautiful.”

“They’re walking away holding hands,” Jasmine added with a shaky smile.

We’d spent the rest of the night preparing her body for the burial. We didn’t like to wait to return our dead to the earth, to the mother. Everyone that could, made it to the funeral the following day. Nearly all our coven was there, and Connor arrived with a van full of witches from the Coven Elders’ Assembly. Numerous council members and nearly everyone from Draven’s pack as well as Bram’s brothers and their aunt attended. The hounds arrived on their bikes, all dressed in black, and Ren’s parents came too. Our cemetery was usually warded, but for today, we’d dropped it to allow everyone in to pay their respects. It was crowded, and the hounds and wolves had offered to make sure no one who shouldn’t be there got in or took anything that they shouldn’t.

People were still assholes, and the Thornheart cemetery was still one of the most coveted cemeteries in the city and farther afield.

Now, it was late evening, and everyone was gathered in the backyard at Daisy’s house. There was a fire, and we were all eating, drinking, and sharing our memories of Else. It was hard to believe she was actually gone. It still didn’t feel real.

And I felt so incredibly guilty because I couldn’t stop thinking about Death and what happened in my dream just before Else died. Something was terribly wrong. That was no dream. It was him; he’d been with me.

But when I’d finally fallen back into bed in the early hours of the morning, he hadn’t come back. I’d wanted to see him again, to talk to him, if he’d let me, but I hadn’t dreamed at all. I had this sick, awful feeling inside me that I might never see him again—and I realized that wasn’t something I could abide.

I didn’t want to give him up, to never see him again, but I didn’t want to leave my family either, especially now—and yeah, I sure as hell didn’t want to die.

I glanced around the yard, and suddenly I found it hard to breathe. I needed to be alone, to think. I should say goodbye, but instead, I slipped away, down the side of the house, and broke into a run as soon as I reached the street, desperate to release the pressure building inside me, to burn off the awful feeling that wouldn’t go away, screaming at me that something was wrong, that Death needed me, that I was making a mistake.

I made it back to Jasmine and Ren’s place, but I couldn’t bring myself to go inside. The house was empty, but I thought I’d lose my mind if I walked in there, if I went to my room and pretended that this was my life now, that I was fine and that never returning to Limbo was what I wanted. Instead, I sat beneath Jasmine’s favorite tree. She loved this spot and sat here all the time. I rested my head against the rough trunk, listening to the insects and the rustle of the spruce trees.

My chest was hollow, so incredibly empty, as if some fundamental part of me had been scooped out, and the only way to feel whole again was to go back—to him. How could that be? How could I actually be considering giving it all up, every part of me, possibly my life, just to be with him again? I shoved my fingers in my hair.

“Do you love him?”Else’s words filtered through my mind.“Okay, let me put it this way, pumpkin, if you dropped that brick wall you’ve built around yourself, if you forget the other consorts and the visions and the brother and Nox and the kid in stasis and all the other things, if you shove that all aside, and it’s just you and him, do you think you could love him?”

I hadn’t been able to answer her then, but it was obvious, wasn’t it? Why else would I be torn over this? Why else would the pull to return to him be so strong?

Because I loved him.

So much that I was considering giving up everything—my life—to be with him again.

All of a sudden, holding myself up was too much. My body ached from crying the last two days, and emotionally I was drained. I lay on my side, my hand to the soft grass, and let the vibrations from the earth, from the mother, fill me, trying to let them restore me. Hemlock crawled out of his bag and curled up under my chin, and I closed my eyes, willing the darkness to come, to take me under as I let the exhaustion weigh down my limbs, my head, my stomach and chest, until I felt as if I were becoming one with the earth. I let it surround me in its familiar embrace and soothe the pain.

My eyes drifted closed.

I screamed as pain tore through me.

“That’s it, love, push,” Death said against my damp hair. “She’s nearly here.”

I bared down, squeezing his hand, and pushed again as another contraction gripped my rounded belly.

Death grinned, his eyes glistening as he reached between my legs. “One more, Aster.”

I pushed hard, delivering our tiny daughter into the protection of her father’s hands.

“She’s here,” he said, wrapping her in the blanket I’d made for her.

He lifted her, placing her on my chest, and I held her carefully as tears of happiness, of contentment and love, filled me. “You’re finally here.” I kissed her. “Hello, Marigold.”

I jolted awake, blinking into the darkness. I didn’t move, barely breathed.

“What if they’re not visions? What if they’re something else?”

Again, Else’s words filled my head, and the truth filled my heart.

They weren’t visions—they were memories. When I dreamed of them, of the others, I was watching, but now when I dreamed of Aster, I wasn’t just looking through her eyes; Iwasher.

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