Page 85 of A Bond in Flames

As soon as the realization hit me, waves of energy crashed through my body. I cried out as my back arched, bowing against the strength of it.

“Zinnia!”

Jasmine’s voice was muffled, drowned out as it all came back. Right from the beginning. In the night sky beside Death, Nox taking him away from me, turning him into flesh and blood. Missing him so much, my light began to dim. Finally being plucked from the sky, Nox standing over me, blood rushing through newly created veins.

Being reunited with Death. I’d been wearing the black gown, the fabric like fine cobwebs and made from night and shadows—the one Death ripped from me when he saw it. Nox had used it to hurt him, to taunt him. And it had, because my soul was connected to his, was created to be at his side.

I saw it all. Me, Death, and Marigold, how happy the three of us were together—but then something happened to me after her birth. I’d been afraid all the time, so very fragile. Nox reached out to me; she was in my ear, in my head, twisting my fragile mind, making me believe Death would hurt our daughter, hurt me.

I’d taken Marigold, and I’d run. Nox’s demons had promised to take me to her, but it was only Marigold that Nox wanted. She’d been there the day at the cliffs. She ordered her demons to snatch Marigold from my back. She ordered them to push me over.

Oh goddess, I’d left him. Nox had somehow poisoned my mind, and I’d run from him.

I’d left Death.

I’d taken his daughter, and we’d left him all alone.

Death had raged at me, had been so full of anger toward me, because I’d left him in my first life, and he’d been protective to the point of controlling because he was terrified Nox and her demons would get to me again.

And he was furious because I didn’t remember any of it—because I didn’t remember him.

My soul had come back, over and over and over—but Death had never opened himself up again. My mind continued to feed me visions, so many all at once. I was staring through their eyes, the females that came after, the females I’d seen in my visions, their lives—their deaths.

In all of them, Death was in his cloak, drowning in darkness and rage, and in all the visions, the females housing my soul cringed away from him.

He never let me back into his heart or his bed—not until now.

Not until he found me.

Because Death was mine.

This time, it wasn’t just reincarnation; this was rebirth. I’d been given another chance to get it all back, to get the love of my life back, to get my daughter back. Oh goddess, I wanted them back.

Death had been mine almost since the beginning of time. He looked at me, touched me, spoke to me like he knew me, because he did. He’d shown me the cave, the tree house, places we’d spent time loving each other, because he wanted me to remember. He raged at me, sometimes hated me, because I looked at him like a monster, like a stranger, the way I had after I’d given birth to Marigold, after Nox had poisoned my mind, when we’d been everything to each other. Everything.

The world around me rushed back into focus. I was in my room, and Ren was laying me on my bed. Jasmine was leaning over me, eyes wide with fear.

“I’m not hurt,” I said and pushed myself up. My heart ached, the feeling of loss unbearable. I missed my consort; I ached for him, and I ached for my child, locked in Death’s temple, frozen in time. No, I hadn’t birthed her—Aster had—but I was Aster. I was his Stella. We were one and the same. I flew out of bed.

“Zinnia? What’s going on?”

I loved my sister, and she loved me, but she didn’t need me, not anymore. She had Ren now, and as much as leaving her killed me, Death needed me; our daughter needed me. I forced myself to slow down, and I took her face in my hands. “There is so much I want to tell you, but it’s… so big, too big. I don’t know how. All I can say is, Death loves me so much, Jazzy, and I love him. We belong together. I have to go, and I don’t know what happens next, but I might not be able to—”

“Don’t say it.” She gripped me tight. “I don’t want you to leave.” Tears welled in her eyes.

I swiped them away. “You’re so strong, Jaz. You don’t need me anymore.” I glanced up at Ren. “You have your own family now.”

“I’ll always need you,” she choked.

“And I’ll always need you, and I promise, I’ll find a way to reach you. I promise, but my family is waiting for me, and I have to go.”

She wrapped her arms around me tight, and I clung to her, pouring a lifetime of love into my baby sister—a lifetime that I might have to miss. “Love you, Jazzy.”

“Love you too, Zinny.”

I looked at Ren again over her shoulder, and he nodded. He had this. He had her. I didn’t need to worry; he would always have her back.

I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I need to pack.”

---