Page 77 of Solstice

No.

The sharp ache of panic tightened my chest. I couldn’t get air down my throat. My stomach rolled. I didn’t care if the whole goddamned world found out. I couldn’t lose her. I couldn’t.

Why wasn’t Lex saying anything? Why wasn’t he fighting for this?

“You know what will happen if you stay away,” I said. “Until the end.You promised.”

“I don’t have another choice,” she said. “Please don’t call me again. I plan to deny it. You should do the same.”

The line went dead.

Four years ago, I believed Miri had broken my heart over text message, and I spiraled into a sadness like I’d never known. When I sank into the mattress next to Lex this time, the overwhelminglossof her made me furious.

It was real. She’d meant it, and I was so damn angry at her, at the world, at myself, that I could burn it all down. I could go in front of the cameras tomorrow and admit the whole thing. I’d tell them I loved Miri from the first moment I saw her, and fuck anyone who dared judge me for it. I’d tell them Carter Scott was my other half and so was Lex, and they loved each other, too.

But—that would only satisfy me temporarily. Miri still had a public image to maintain and an entire royal legacy to uphold. If that meant more to her than our love,our marriage,then how could I stop her? Once I had that running around in my head, the real terror set in.

She isn’t coming back. This is real.

“She’ll get over this.” Lex grabbed my hand, intertwined his fingers between mine, and pulled them to his mouth so he could kiss my knuckles in an attempt to soothe the ache in my soul. “Trust me.”

In college, he and Miri were on-again, off-again for several years, but they always got back together.

“She’s not like this with me,” I said. “We don’t treat each other like this.”

The sincerity in Miri’s eyes would haunt me forever. With nowhere else to direct my fury, a sob barreled out of my chest. Lex wrapped an arm over my shoulders, pulling me in to kiss the top of my head and hold me while I fell apart. Everything in my body burned with a brilliant hot rage, and whenever I found the person who did this, I would direct every ounce of it in their direction.

Banging at the front door brought my head up, and Abigail’s voice echoed up the staircase followed by Giana’s and my mother’s.

“I don’t care if she’s not taking visitors,” my mother said.

“Is she upstairs?” Giana marched into Lex’s room, pausing at the threshold to find us in an intimate embrace. “I’ve been calling for two hours.”

I took a deep breath and stood. “I know.”

She looked pissed, but onmy account, not atme. “I need to speak with both of you. Immediately.” Giana’s dark gaze drifted between the two of us before she turned to walk toward my office at the other end of the house.

I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I didn’t want to see Giana or my mother or anyone related to covering it up. Miri had just reached inside my chest and ripped my heart out, and even if she claimed she didn’t have another choice.

We did.

Of course, I didn’t actually know if I could do what I proposed. Bring her into my marriage? Tell the world that the three of us…fourof us…had made a secret vow in a magical forest, that we were poly and fuck anyone with an opinion about it? If I were any other person in the world, I might have been able to get away with it.

But not me.

Not Ivy Washington.

So I got up and squeezed Lex’s hand. Together, we followed Giana into the office. My mother sat on the couch in front of my desk and Lex’s father stood over by the window, the room lined with secret service agents. I stopped when I entered, the president turning with his arms crossed and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Ivette, what have you done?” My mother’s voice made my skin crawl, and I looked at Lex, gripping his hand tighter.

“It’s a fake,” Lex said.

“Obviously,” I said. “I’ve been adamant about pushing through this green plan. We should look to my political enemies.”

“No,” Evelyn cut in, pushing to her feet. “No, you’ll do nothing. You’ll sit here and keep your mouth shut. Wait for me to clean up your mess.” She shook her head, rubbing at her forehead with her deep maroon nails. “How long has it been going on?”

“What?”

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