I laugh because I know he wasn’t lying. “Bartenders never lie.”
“Sure they do. They always lie when they say they’re going to pour you a double. They add extra ice, the same amount of alcohol, and still charge you double.”
“All right, I’ll give you that one. But I don’t think Garth was lying. Was he?”
She doesn’t say anything for several moments, and it’s all the confirmation I need.
“Axel and I used to hang out there often, especially before the triplets came along. It’s where we became friends, actually. You were gone, and I was bored, so I went into the bowling alley one day, and there Axel was. He was sitting alone, looking as sullen and grumpy as I felt, with a basket of chili-cheese fries in front of him. We made eye contact but didn’t speak as I rented a lane. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time I was bowling. So finally, after about my fourth gutter ball, I smiled and waved at him. He scowled and looked away, and I laughed. It was the first time I had laughed since you left, and it felt so good that I wanted it to happen again.”
Fuck. The thought of her being so upset that she couldn’t laugh is ... well, it’s fucking heartbreaking. It eats me up inside that she was feeling like that and I wasn’t here. I hate myself for it.
“I went back in the next day, and there he was again,” she continues. “The same table, a new basket of fries. So I rented another lane, took my Coke and old shoes, and sat across the way from him. Again, he stared, and again, I waved. That went on for a week, and as weird as it sounds, it felt nice to have something to look forward to, even if it did mean I was getting glared at while throwing an embarrassing number of gutter balls.”
“How’d you two become friends then?”
She laughs lightly. “I got tired of it. One day, when he looked over at me, I flipped him off instead of waving.”
I laugh because I can’t imagine Parker doing anything like that. “You did not.”
“I did too. And Axel had the same reaction you did. He laughed. It was so sudden it surprised him, and I knew immediately that he was broken like I was. His parents were going through a divorce, and all hisfriends had just moved away for college. He was alone. I was alone. So, we decided to be alone together. We’ve been best friends since.”
I wait for the jealousy to hit over her calling Axel her best friend, but it doesn’t come.
He’s been there for her so much over the years, showing up for her, cheering her on, and, hell, he’s even her business partner.
Heisher best friend, and I’m finally okay with that.
No. The only thing that comes is heartache.
Broken.
Is that really how she felt? Like I broke her by leaving? It hurts, and that guilt I’ve felt all these years seeps back in.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, squeezing her hand as we turn into her driveway. “I’m sorry you had to go through that alone. I’m sorry that I left.”
“Don’t be. I mean, there have been plenty of times over the years when I’ve not liked you, but you’re here now, you know? That’s what matters, right?”
I swallow. “Right.”
I am here now. Only for a few more weeks, but I’m here.
Yet I can’t help but wonder ... What happens when I leave? What happens tous? Will Parker stop talking to me again? Is it going to break her heart like it did before? Garth said she regrets not saying yes back then. If I were to ask now, what would she say? Would she turn me down, or would she go with me?
I’m too fucking scared to ask because I have a feeling I know exactly what her answer would be, and it’s not the answer I want.
I want Parker to come with me. I want to show her my life in LA. I want to be with her—and not just for six weeks tucked away here in the Pacific Northwest. I want her all the time. In my bed, in my house, in my life.
I just wanther.
But I know that’s a tall ask. She has a life here. A career. The theater. Asking her to leave it all behind would be selfish, and I don’t want to be selfish with her.
“Want to come inside?” she asks as we ascend the stairs to her front door.
More than she knows, but instead, I say, “How about I meet you at Bigfoot’s later?”
She frowns, and I can tell she’s sad I’m not coming inside to have my way with her.
I laugh. “I’ve got plans with Gran,” I explain.