Page 32 of Clash of Sin and Secret

Tucker settles on the training mat beside me, his warm presence both comforting and distracting. The fact that in the past twenty-four hours I’ve died, wiped out the power for the entire compound, and blasted him across the room makes my stomach clench.

I need to get a handle on my emotions.

Dull the chaos and accept the life before me.

I do as Jack says and close my eyes. It’s scary and jarring. Cutting off one of my senses heightens the others and the chaos inside of me goes wild. My eyes snap open. “Oh, man, it’s mayhem in my mind.”

“That’s exactly why you need to do this.” Jack kneels in front of me. “The magic is responding to your emotional state. The stress of being back here. Of your father’s and Francesco’s death. Of having to deal with Zane and Huntley. It’s consuming you. Your powers magnify that.”

“So, that will stop when I accept my fate?”

“First, you need to work through it and calm your emotions. Right now, your emotions are controlling your powers instead of the other way around.”

I hear what Jack’s saying, but it’s not like I haven’t been controlling them. “Everything about being here and missing my father and spending time with Zane and Huntley hurts. I’m trying, but it’s everything and everywhere all the time.”

Tucker’s hand finds mine, our shared magical signature humming between us. “We’re here to help you through that, beautiful. You’re not alone in this.”

I’m not? It sure feels like I am.

“Try again, kid. Find your center.”

I close my eyes and follow Jack’s instructions, to breathe deeply and find my center. Memories of Zane and Huntley cloud my mind. Seven years of pain and rejection surge through me, feeding the dangerous current of magic.

The heartbroken pain in Huntley’s eyes. He loved me. He wanted me to love him, too. And all I saw was Zane and me, and my pain. All these years, I hated him and regretted turning to him, but I hurt him just as deeply.

“Scotland.” Jack’s tone turns sharp. “Let it go. The past is killing you.”

Hot tears warm my cheeks. “I’m drowning in pain and don’t know how to get past it.”

Jack sighs close beside me. “I can give you a magical bypass, but it won’t change anything. It’ll just take the pain away.”

“I’ll take it. Yes. If the agony eases, I know I’ll be able to rebuild.”

“Then repeat after me: I release what no longer serves me. My emotions flow pure and true. My heart that’s suffered deserves peace. May my spirit and soul renew.”

Sentence by sentence I repeat after Jack. The words gain power as I say them, the magic in my cells sizzling as if happy to be given direction.

When I finish, a wave of energy washes through me. It’s different from the energy blast last night. Instead of destruction, it brings clarity.

The weight I’ve carried for years—the rejection, the heartbreak, the anger, and the loss—dissolves like mist in sunlight.

I gasp, my eyes flying open. The crackling beneath my skin settles into a steady, controlled hum.

“Holy shit.”

I don’t think meditation is supposed to feel like I’m strapped to a runaway train, but since I spoke Jack’s bypass spell, everything in me is restructuring.

I sit cross-legged on the padded floor of the training room, my eyes closed, focusing on my breath. Everything in me is a mess of emotional realignment.

“Let it go, kid. Don’t fight it.”

With Jack’s voice guiding me, I breathe in deeply, feeling the air fill my lungs. But even after his calming spell, something isn’t right.

Is it me? Am I too broken to be fixed?

I focus on the words he had me recite.

I release what no longer serves me. My emotions flow pure and true. My heart that’s suffered deserves peace. May my spirit and soul renew.

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