Page 40 of Clash of Sin and Secret

Awkwardness hangs in the air, but I push through it.

“I wanted to thank you both for last night.” I meet Tucker’s gaze and dip my chin. “I know what it must’ve cost you to step back and allow Huntley and me an evening alone with her. And I know what it cost you, Scots, to step beyond our past to rebuild.”

“Thanks, Z.” She steps closer, her brows creased. “What’s wrong?”

I draw a deep breath. “I went and spoke with Angelo first thing. He’s devastated.”

“Understandably.”

I avoid Tucker’s gaze and focus on her. “I know we’re still walking on eggshells, but I need you. I need my best friend to help me make sense of being king. I need the only woman I’ve ever loved to hug me and tell me I’m not totally fucking things up with the seethe. And I need to hold you and convince myself that you’re really here and won’t leave me again.”

Her gaze softens, but before she can respond, I drop to my knees. The cool floor bites into my skin, grounding me as I lay everything bare.

“I’ll beg if you need me to.” My voice cracks as I look up at her, letting the truth of my words bleed through me. “I’ll grovel and tear my heart out if it helps…but I need you, Scots—having you want to take the oath to be my squire is amazing, but I’m selfish. I want the woman, too.”

“Zane, I…” she starts, but falters, turning toward Tucker. “Can you give us a minute?”

“Take all the time you need, beautiful.” Tucker steps closer, his gait loose-hipped and relaxed. He cups her face in his hands, a serene smile plastered on his face. “I was raised in a pack community. I don’t need promises of exclusivity or to be the only one in your heart. You are mine, but you are also his.”

Damn right she is.

She sighs. “What did I do to deserve you?”

He winks and then bends down to kiss her. “You know where I am if you need me. Otherwise, message me about training when you’re ready.”

Shame flushes through me like ice water pouring down my spine. Could I be so gracious if the roles were reversed? Would I be?

Tucker pauses before leaving, squeezing my shoulder as he passes. “I’m happy to step aside and give the two of you time. It’s good for Scottie to heal and to thrive. And as long as you don’t get possessive and erase me from her life, we won’t have any problems.”

The wildest part of me wants to drop fang and tear him apart for the subtle threat, but the man knows better. There was a time when Scotland McCullough was mine and only mine.

I fucked that up.

Now she burns bigger, brighter, and stands on her own. She needs more than just me. She always did. I meet Tucker’s gaze. “I respect that.”

Tucker pats my shoulder and leaves the suite, closing the door behind him.

Sitting back on my heels, I look up at her. Silence settles heavily between us now that we’re alone—and it’s good that we begin with me kneeling at her feet.

She deserves that and more.

The power dynamic in our friendship always favored me—or at least, I thought it did. The moment she was gone, I realized how naïve that was.

She’s always held the power.

She just didn’t realize it.

The weight of Dante’s death hits hard again. “What if I can’t do it, Scots? What if this guy keeps coming at us and I get more people killed? What if my father was wrong and I’m not ready and I make a terrible king?”

“Come on, Z. Up you get.” Her voice is soft, concern lacing her tone as she pulls me to my feet and hugs me. “Francesco wasn’t wrong. You’ll be an incredible king. You’re strategic and caring, just like he was. You choose diplomacy over violence, but if the situation calls for it, you’re not afraid to slaughter your foes. It’s been a shock, but you’re ready. You’re just tired and overwhelmed by the losses.”

That’s true. I’m numb and I swear my bones are vibrating from being so achingly tired.

Having her in my arms helps. It’s a balm on my grief and the only point of hope I’ve had since this all began. Bowing my head, I nuzzle into her hair and breathe her into the depths of my soul. “I love you, Scots.”

She brushes a gentle hand through the ebony waves of my hair and pulls me closer. “I tried hard not to, but I love you, too.”

Thank fuck.

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