Page 120 of Crazy Thing

When I say that, Daphne starts tearing up.

“For god’s sake. Why are you crying?!” I tug at my hair.

I’m just trying to load the dishwasher. How did this turn into some deep-dive into my emotions?

She collapses into my arms and the real waterworks start. “I’m so happy that my sister finally has love. She’s such a good person. And she genuinely cares about everybody. But somehow, she’s never gotten that kind of love in return. So it makes me so happy, Darius, seeing the way you treat her,” Daphne blubbers, soaking my shirt with tears.

Nolan cringes. Instead of helping me extricate myself from this mess, he’s slowly backing toward the exit. “I’m outta here.”Traitor.

I try to shrug out of Daphne’s grip but Karli piles onto the hug. “I’ve waited for this moment, too. The moment you’d finally find a woman who could weed-wack her way past the bushes covering up your prickly soul.” Over Daphne’s head, my sister shoots me a deadly look. “You’re going to marry her, right? You’d better not fuck up. I want you to marry her.”

At the mention of marriage, Daphne starts hyperventilating. “Oh my god. Oh my god. That would be so amazing. My sister would be your sister-in-law,” she tells Karli.

“Your sister would beyoursister-in-law, too,” Karli laughs.

Daphne does the calculation in her head. “Oh…Yeah…You’re right. That’s weird and confusing. But I love it.” She bursts into tears again.

I look up and find Ziggy in the doorway. She’s got an empty serving dish in each hand and she’s holding back laughter as I get my personal boundaries trampled all over by her sister and mine.

Not funny.

Wiggling my shoulders, I somehow manage to get the blabbering women off of me. “Get out! Both of you! Get out!” I bark, motioning toward the front door.

“Huh?” Daphne blinks up at me like a pitiful little wounded kitten.

“Get out! Get out! Get out!” I point toward the door. “I mean it in the most loving way possible—get out!”

I’ve tried to be nice. But my social battery is on empty. I’m done ‘peopling’ for today. I just want to hide out with my girl.

Ziggy seems to sense what I’m thinking. She sets down the serving dishes and addresses the girls. “You guys, what Darius and I have is new. Don’t jinx us,” she says with a laugh. She glances at me over her back. “You finish with the dishwasher. I’ll walk everyone out,” Ziggy suggests. When I open my mouth to protest, she comes and whispers by my ear. “And when you’re done, wait for me in the bedroom. We’re gonna have a game night of our own.”

As I try to decipher what goodies Ziggy has in store for me, she drapes one arm around Daphne’s shoulder and the other around Karli’s. Moments later, I hear commotion as she’s marching the rest of my family to the exit.

She leaves me there, wondering what she has in store for me tonight. What game will we be playing? More Monopoly? Checkers? Maybe Scrabble.

Yeah, I’d bet it’s Scrabble. Ziggy’s brainy like that. Little does she know, I rock at Scrabble and I won’t be holding back just to let her win.

I wrap things up in the kitchen in record time then I half-assedly vacuum the game room. I’m shirtless and sitting in bed, waiting impatiently, when Ziggy walks in.

She’s wearing nothing but a silky red robe, tied at the waist. There’s a large old shoebox in her arms and a timid smile on her face.

“What is that?” I ask, easing up onto one elbow as I look at her.

She approaches, swallowing hard as she flips open the lid.

And I’m confronted by cocks.

Crystalcocks.

Veiny and girthy and sparkling in the dim light of my bedside lamp.

My gaze bounces back to Ziggy. The smile slowly widens across her face. “My toys. Wanna play with me?”

47

ZIGGY

“What are you thinking right now?” My heart beats triple-time as I try to figure out Darius’s furrowed expression. “If you feel weirded out, I can just bring all this back to my bus.”

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