Page 139 of Crazy Thing

I know they’re all right. Because as I let their advice sink in, I’m already forgetting why I’m so damn mad at Darius.

Yes, he betrayed my trust—the very foundation of any human relationship—but at the same time, he meant well.He’s trying. Every day, he’s trying to be a better person.

Ugh. How long can I stay mad at this man?

It’s not that Iwantto stay mad at him. Deep down, I know he has a good heart.

But I’m terrified to hand over my complete trust again. I’m terrified to forgive him fully for the way he hurt me before.

Because honestly, most of my distrust and fear stems from a lifetime of letdowns. Starting with Darius ditching me when we were teenagers.

All this current drama is more about my insecurities that have grown and festered for years, rather than his one recent misstep. All my life, men have treated me like a sad hand-me down. Just something they settled for before moving onto a more attractive prize.

But not Darius.

He hasn’t given up on me. He’s been there, right in my woods. Every single day. And, every single night.

And he’s been doing all these nice things for me. He’s been bringing me surprises. He’s been on his hands and knees in my garden early in the mornings, pulling weeds.

Heck, just yesterday, I heard him hollering outside, and then I found him yanking a poisonous snake out fromunder my bus. I watched in shock from my window as he marched off into the woods, not killing the snake—because he knows I don’t believe in harming living things—but instead, carefully carrying the reptile far, far away from my camp.

I was tempted to run out and kiss him right then. I mean, a man like Darius wouldn’t be there day in and day out, doing all these things, if he wasn’t all in, right?

I hear my inner voice loud and clear. It’s telling me that if I let this man go, I’ll be regretting it forever.

Yet still, how am I supposed to trust that a handsome, desirable, successful man like Darius Brightonactuallywants me?

I still don’t know how.

But Iwantto.I want to believe in my worth. For real this time.

“I act like I’ve got it together but Idon’thave it together. Oh my gosh. I’m the biggest fraud.” I drop my head into my hands. I pull on my hair.

I’m having a full-blown identity crisis and half the people I know are here to witness it.

My eyes catch on Karli’s. She holds my gaze, her expression compassionate but firm.

She gives my shoulder a rough shake. “You’re not a fraud, Ziggy. You’re human. You’re afraid. It’s normal. Falling in love can be scary. Especially the dark night of the soul part. Trust me—I’ve been there.”

I let her words marinate.

“Here’s the harsh truth,” she says in that tough girl way of hers. “Nothing in life is ever guaranteed to last. So that’s not even the question. The true question is—is it worth it? The love you have with Darius, is it worth getting your heart broken one day in the far-off future? Or would you rather gothe rest of your life as a coward, with a bleeding hole inside your chest instead?”

I close my eyes and the tears spill out. “Darius is worth it.”

Aunt Rainbow elbows everybody out of the way, coming to sit beside me. She wipes at my tears with the hem of her skirt. “So what do you really want, moonbeam?”

“Darius. I want Darius,” I confess.

“Then it’s time that you go get him.”

56

ZIGGY

There’s a homeless billionaire living in my front yard.

I thought for sure Darius would bail on the very first night and go home to his fancy bed in his fancy house.

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